Hair Care Product Bowl

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 7:41 AM PST in Football

UPDATED 2:43 pm EST:: So much for being excited about this bowl game. Unbelievable.

UPDATED (9 mins before kickoff):Those boys over at EDSBS have their own preview of our "bowl game." Here is a sample:

Name: Vitalis Sun Bowl.

Motto: ?Vitalis: It?s What Makes Grampa Spiffy!?

Intrusive Corporate Sponsor: Vitalis. Yes, the same shit Grampa put in his hair. Vitalis is evidently in the middle of a radical rebranding: a visit to the site doesn?t reveal a picture of a nattily dressed, distinguished older man in a cardigan, but instead a multi-paneled portrait of a nearly naked , 16-year-oldwoman (the second wife?) and the Vitalis logo, as if Vitalis were attempting to go from ?Early Bird Buffet Ladykiller Hair salve? to ?AXE Body Spray for the Dockers Crew.? Good luck with that.

Tradition Rating: 1935?wow. Unprecedented territory for our tradition ratings. What happened in 1935..lessee?Mussolini invades Ethiopia? Maybe good to describe yesterday?s Emerald Bowl, but not useful here?AA is founded? No, but perhaps appropriate for the Alamo Bowl and Michigan fans thereafter?.how about the Dust Bowl? A swirling cataclysm of chaos obscuring all sight and engulfing whole fields? Yes, that sounds like the defenses we?ll see here. Therefore we give the Sun Bowl a tradition rating of: Dust Bowl.

LMAO. I am so EXCITED! Are you?!

I am still jazzed about hoops from last night, but we do have a football game today. You gotta read the CFR preview (well you should review CFR everyday, if you are CFB fan/junkie). Here are the numbers on the nerds from Big-10:

* #27 rush offense (195.9 yards/game, 5.0 yards/carry)
* #10 pass offense (296.8 yards/game, 7.4 yards/attempt, 20 TD/7 INT, 63.8% completions) and a #33 pass efficiency ranking
* #32 scoring offense (31.8 points/game)
* #102 scoring defense (32.5 points/game)
* #109 rush defense (209.7 yards/game, 5.1 yards/carry)
* #106 pass defense (273.2 yards/game, 7.5 yards/attempt, 17 TD/17 INT, 59.1% completions) and a #74 pass efficiency defense ranking
* #19 turnover margin (0.73, +8) Gained: 9 fumbles and 17 interceptions. Lost: 11 fumbles and 7 interceptions

And here are ours:

* #54 rush offense (147.1 yards/game, 4.2 yards/carry)
* #19 pass offense (281.9 yards/game, 8.5 yards/attempt, 31 TD/3 INT, 64.9% completions) and a #3 pass efficiency ranking
* #7 scoring offense (38.1 points/game)
* #107 scoring defense (33.8 points/game)
* #117 rush defense (238.6 yards/game, 5.4 yards/carry)
* #62 pass defense (218.9 yards/game, 7.1 yards/attempt, 17 TD/6 INT, 60.4% completions) and a #86 pass efficiency defense
* #24 turnover margin (0.64, +7) Gained: 13 fumbles and 6 interceptions. Lost: 9 fumbles and 3 interceptions

You can also get the So. Cal rags previews of the game here (LAT) and here (DN). Oh and apparently Dorrell has been whining again. He just needs to keep his trap shut and win football games that acutally matter. Today would be a good day to start. This is an open thread.

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Comments

come on

Im as dissapointed as anyone with the USC game but a victory here means a 10-2 season... and 10 wins is 10 wins. Snark is fun in small doses but lets stop making fun of the bowl we got to (Ill take it over the Christmas Day Vegas Bowl from a few years ago) and the fact that Dorrell never expresses any emotions and get behind the team. Its a big game, and an important one. GO BRUINS.

by njbruin on Dec 30, 2005 11:00 AM PST reply actions

snark/humor

Kind of a way to cope when your football team is the laughing stock of college football (no one except for the diehard Dorrell supporters take our "9 win" season seriously). That's just how it is. That said, I agree a 10 win season will be something to sell to future recruits, notwithstanding the fact we are a joke compared to USC.

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 11:07 AM PST up reply actions

Well then ...

One team looks well coached and prepared out of the gate. Guess which one?

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 11:30 AM PST reply actions

Sweet jesus

I can't believe this.

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 11:35 AM PST reply actions

DO

Way to F UP Drew. I hate our football team.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 11:36 AM PST reply actions

I hate our coach

I like our players. I hate our fucking incompetent coaching staff.

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 11:38 AM PST up reply actions

Okay, but

Dorrell didn't throw either of those INTs....

by brewinTK on Dec 30, 2005 11:39 AM PST up reply actions

We look so fucking unprepared ...

this is fucking inexcusable. Infuckingexcusable.

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 11:40 AM PST up reply actions

DO

Get Ben in.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 11:46 AM PST reply actions

yeap

no point of keeping him now. Wow. This may be ... just may be cause for firing Dorrell (if this keeps up).

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 11:47 AM PST up reply actions

Look

There is Koach Karl shitting the bed on live T.V. . . .

by Koach Karl I on Dec 30, 2005 11:49 AM PST reply actions

He needs his sombrero!

That was it.

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 11:49 AM PST up reply actions

Oh man

I don't see any fire in our team's eyes. It is a look that I have seen most of the year. This would be a great experience game for Ben Olson.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 11:49 AM PST reply actions

RB

The running game is clicking somewhat. Keep staying with it.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 11:50 AM PST reply actions

Why run the ball?

Why run the ball when its working and your QB is struggling?

That just makes too much sense.

by Ajax on Dec 30, 2005 3:14 PM PST up reply actions

What football team?

Suddenly, I can't remember anything about a football team. It must be some kind of psychological self-defense mechanism. I remember a basketball team. They're good, and so is their coach. But, football? Nothing.

I think I'll change the channel and punch up the Stanford game on Tivo. This is making me ill.

by brewinTK on Dec 30, 2005 11:51 AM PST reply actions

Still think?

We are too tough on Dorrell?

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 11:53 AM PST up reply actions

No way

Did you see that call? The 'ole fumble for a first down. Brillant!

by brewinTK on Dec 30, 2005 11:56 AM PST up reply actions

MJD

have you noticed ... our running game has been better since MJD left. Perhaps we should think twice about featuring him as a every down running back.

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 11:57 AM PST up reply actions

More seriously

I think this is the key game of the season for Dorrell. They recover from the INTs and find a way to win, then I think people should step off a bit and give him some credit for a 10 win season. If they continue to be humiliated, then I will be more inclined to shift towards the fire Dorrell crowd. If it turns out somewhere in the middle, who knows.

by brewinTK on Dec 30, 2005 11:59 AM PST up reply actions

I'd bet we are going to come back and win ...

and then the Dorrelists will be crowing over how we showed character by having another comeback win (over a shitty football team). The way we came out unprepared and look totally clueless ... the responsibility of that fall squarely on the head coach. And please stop nonsense with blaming the players ... Lavin supporters did a lot of that too, until it became painfully obvious it was the coach, who was clueless. Dorrell is a joke ... no matter how this game turns out.

by Nestor on Dec 30, 2005 12:04 PM PST up reply actions

Hey-

I'm not just blaming the players. I blame both the coach and players. I was just pointing out earlier that it's pretty tough to get on the coach for interceptions (including one that was tipped).

Also, I happen to think its unreasonable to call a 10-win season a joke. If we win, and I'm sorry if you disagree, I think we've had a successful season.

Could it have been better? Yes. Should we have beaten Arizona, and come out to play against SC? Of course.

If you don't like Dorrell personally, fine. But, I think it matters how the game turns out.

by brewinTK on Dec 30, 2005 12:20 PM PST up reply actions

Running

Bell and Markey look ready for the game of their lives.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 11:57 AM PST reply actions

Well now

It seems that our team actually wants to play. Good for them.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 12:11 PM PST reply actions

Terrible call

Idiot refs. THAT WAS NOT OFFSIDES.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 12:22 PM PST reply actions

OH YEAH

FCUK YEAH SPENCE!!!

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 12:23 PM PST reply actions

Tied up

We have tied it up. Just keep doing what you are doing Bruins.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 12:33 PM PST reply actions

Tide

The tide is turning. FG block.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 12:47 PM PST reply actions

Lead

We have taken the lead 29-22.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 1:02 PM PST reply actions

Up

36-22.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 1:54 PM PST reply actions

W

We won 50-38. Longest 4th quarter that I have seen.

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 3:28 PM PST reply actions

End

Well so ends the 2005 UCLA football season. A crazy year indeed. Starting with Maurice Drew's TD run on the first play from scrimmage at SDSU to Dennis Keyes annihilating Rhett Bomar causing a fumble which led to a Spencer Havener TD to Brandon Breazell running back two onside kicks for TDs in the Sun Bowl. Good job Bruins. 10-2. See ya on September 2nd of next year at the Rose Bowl against Utah.

And how about beating SC when we play them huh?

by 5214 on Dec 30, 2005 3:37 PM PST reply actions

season was... solid

This game wasnt as nightmarish as it first appeared - once Olson remembered how to throw the ball we were in control all the way to the end. A good bowl win ends an encouraging season. If we actually showed up against Arizona we would be 11-1 now. Well, Im looking forward to next year.

by njbruin on Dec 30, 2005 3:44 PM PST up reply actions

Wow

Reading this thread has got to be one of THE MOST amusing things I have read this season. In your minds, you are leading a revolution. In reality, you guys are planning a coup with toy guns. GO BRUINS (No matter what)!!!!!!!!!

by spaldo79 on Jan 4, 2006 1:40 PM PST reply actions