FanPost

Another Parody: "Dorrellian Pie"

Hope you have fun with it, folks... with apologies to Don MacLean (the singer, not the former UCLA hoops player):

------------------------
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember how
A 13-9 score made me smile.
And I reveled in the Rose Bowl stands
Where thousands wore True Blue and danced
And, baby, we were happy... for a while.

But after Walker was anointed
San Francisco disappointed
Bad news on the scoreboard
Yet somehow... I got more bored

I simply hung my head and sighed
And scarfed my batch of garlic fries,
But something numbed me deep inside
The day the excuses... died.

So bye-bye, to "Dorrellian" Guy
Here in Westwood, where the best stood
Football's just getting by.
It's the same old plays and the same old replies
Singin' the "direction" that we're heading is "right."
The direction that we're heading is right.

Did you write your book of plays,
Or did you Xerox one from your Donahue days,
'Cause old Terry told you so?
D'you believe in a halfback sweep?
Or having QBs throw it deep?
Or can you teach your team to run plays REAL SLOW?

Well, I know that you're in love with runs
`Cause I see you with your three and dones.
The boys slipped in their shoes
Where's the progress when we lose???

Now I was only teen-aged at UCLA --
And in Bruins Nation in recent days --
Why could I predict ALL the plays???
The day the excuses died.

So bye-bye, to "Dorrellian" Guy
Here in Westwood, where the best stood
Football's just getting by.
It's the same old plays and the same old replies
Singin' the "direction" that we're heading is "right."
The "direction" that we're heading is "right."

Now for four years we have b**ched and moaned
While we heard so much about how we've grown
But that's not how it really was...

After two years at twelve and thirteen
Ten straight wins for this "growing" team
And then all four of our wheels fell off the bus...

Once our team pulled wins right out of hats,
Our D had no luck herding Cats
When our enemies took their turn
All our hopes and dreams were burned!

And so we looked ahead to make our mark,
To show a bite stronger than our bark
Until we hit AT&T Park
And all the excuses died.

So bye-bye, to "Dorrellian" Guy
Here in Westwood, where the best stood
Football's just getting by.
It's the same old plays and the same old replies
Sayin' the "direction" that we're heading is "right."
The "direction" that we're heading is "right."

Helter skelter in an autumn swelter!
From Olson's bombs Utah had no shelter
Four-and-oh -- then falling fast.

A cheap shot dropped Ben to the grass
And Patrick rarely hit a forward pass,
Southpaw Jesus on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the South Bend air was sweet perfume
The Juggler danced to a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!

`Cause the Domers marched on down the field;
And Dennis Keyes was too glad to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day that excuses died?

We all were thinking,
Bye-bye, to "Dorrellian" Guy
Once the West Coast was the Best Coast
Now it just makes you cry.
It's the same old plays and the same old replies
Sayin' the "direction" that we're heading is "right."
The "direction" that we're heading is "right."

Oh, and then we fell back in every place
The end of every first half a waste
Despite time left to score again.

But later: Pat be nimble, Pat be quick!
And Aaron and Justin gave us winning kicks
And the Bruins rose up with their own defense...

Oh, and then I watched Karl turn the page ---
He pumped his fists in joy and rage.
We'd served our time in hell
And he broke the satan's spell!

And though no flames climbed on Rally Night
The Blue and Gold fought the better fight
And we believed by then it might
Be the day the excuses died

We all were singing
"Bye-bye," to "Dorrellian" Guy
Here in Westwood, where the best stood
Football's just getting by.
It's the same old plays and the same old replies
Sayin' the "direction" that we're heading is "right."
The direction that we're heading is right.

Took time from work, and I wore my blues
But the coaching staff forgot the shoes
And our halftime lead was thrown away

I watched us tackled by the GROUND
And Williams touched it out of bounds
And yet another, unsurprising, goal-line play-ay-ay.

And on the boards: the Bruins screamed,
The "Cranks" all cried, and the "Blues" all dreamed.
A whole lot of different text here
A lot of ideas for "next year."

And of all the arguments they broached
There was one that was beyond reproach
Bottom line?  WE GOT OUTCOACHED
The day the excuses died.

So now we're singing...

"Bye-bye," to "Dorrellian" Guy
Here in Westwood, where the best stood
Football's just getting by.
It's the same old plays and the same old replies
Sayin' the "direction" that we're heading is "right."
The "direction" that we're heading is "right."

-----------------------------------------

MIM

<em>This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.</em>

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