Reading for Kevin Love and Kyle Singler

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How do players who show so much promise in college fail at such a high rate in the NBA? I don't want to use the word "curse," but only supernatural forces can explain the horror show of Grant Hill's ankles.

A better solution is to blame Coach K's system for making above-average players look fantastic, which is better than his protégé Quin Snyder's system of making fantastic players look below-average. (Don't worry, Quin; you've got the best hair in the whole damn unemployment line.) In this vein, Redick might just be better off bagging the NBA and joining Coach K's bench a la Steve Wojciehowski, although he'll have to slap the court an awful lot in his last dozen games to be as annoying as Wojo was in his playing days.

As a friend recently pointed out to me, this is the same system that made Christian Laettner the all-time least-deserving player to own an Olympic gold medal. (Vin Baker would have won this award, but he traded his medal for a plate of Buffalo wings with extra bleu cheese.) Duke basketball relies on a killer team concept, with enough McDonald's All-American talent and ball movement to get the great shooters open, and it's especially deadly when there's a good big man to keep defenses honest. In the NBA, however, Redick will miss having a dominant post presence like Shelden Williams to take the pressure off of him in the defense and thin-mustache-growing departments.

Still not convinced? Mike Dunleavy got a huge, cap-killing contract extension even though his only discernible talent is looking like the elf from the Claymation Rudolph movie. When the NBA adds naked free-throw shooting to the All-Star Skills Competition, Dahntay Jones will be a mortal lock to win. Until then, he's relegated to playing 12 minutes a night for the Grizzlies. Carlos Boozer looks like he may be on the Grant Hill Perpetually-Injured Career Arc, but at least he can still be remembered as the only NBA player whose chest hair showed even when he wore a turtleneck. They're all hilariously disappointing when they take it to the next level.

In the American Express commercial that just won't die, Coach K says he wants to send his players out into the world armed with more than just a jumpshot, but Redick will go into the pros armed with only a jumpshot and a sneer. Like a lot of former Blue Devils, he'll probably be a lottery pick, and he may even stick around for five or six years as a situational shooter on someone's bench. More likely, he'll probably be the reincarnation of Danny Ferry, and I don't mean that he'll refuse to play for the Clippers and then fail to re-sign LeBron James 20 years later.

I'd go on, but I've got to wrap things up. Cherokee Parks just showed up to deliver my pizza. Can I give him his own rookie card as a tip, or is that considered cheap?