FanPost

Cheetey Petey and his House of Thuggery

Are you 6'4" or taller?  Can you run the 40 in 4.4 or less?  Do you have a vertical leap of over 39"?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then USC football wants YOU!  Regardless of your (or your family's) criminal history.  Forget about your character.  If you are an incredible athlete willing to do whatever it takes to win while ignoring all of the rules, then come on down to glorious South Central L.A. Listen to these testimonials:

    "I couldn't be happier here" said one
     anonymous linebacker.  "I was arrested on a
     battery charge last year for beating the
     brains out of some random dude at a party,
     but The Carrolleone Family made everything
     disappear. They own the police!"

    A former defensive superstar adds,
    "They caught me with 136 ecstacy pills and I
    had just raped some passed out hoochie, and
    all they made me do was transfer.  I wanted to
    go to another Pac 10 school, but Godfather
    Carrolleone made me an offer that I couldn't
    refuse, so I ended up in Vegas.  No matter;
    it's all good!"

Yes, it's true.  Whether you sell ecstacy, randomly beat people up or like to rape young girls, The Carrolleone Family has the connections to make all of your legal troubles go away.  All we care about is national championships, so as long as you are performing, you can be protected from meddlesome police.  

We have built a strong "tradition" based on the model established by the great Dennis Ericson at the fine University of Miami, only we have perfected it!  

Fight (defenseless college kids), Undermine, Cill* (ex-wives), act with Lawless abandon, Assault On!.  Or as we like to say for short, "FUCLA!"  

_____
*they spell "Kill" with a "C" at USC.

<em>This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.</em>

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Bruins Nation

You must be a member of Bruins Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bruins Nation. You should read them.

Join Bruins Nation

You must be a member of Bruins Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bruins Nation. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker