What I miss the most

by Class of 86 on Nov 2, 2007 2:03 PM PDT Comment 36 comments

Bumped from the diaries. GO BRUINS. -N

It's likely that someone else here has said this in different words, but I need to get this out after observing my own state of mind last Saturday. Having been a UCLA Bruin since September of 1982, and having followed our team faithfully ever since, I'm on a completely different track this year. Here are a few things that I miss:

I miss checking the next year's football schedule the day it comes out to figure possible wins/losses.

I miss looking forward to Saturdays as much as I do Sundays during football season.

I miss the nervous energy I used to get about an hour before each game, even one where we are almost assured a blowout win.

I miss being almost assured of a blowout win.

I miss pacing back and forth as a close game winds down in the fourth quarter.

I miss yelling at my TV and agonizing when the refs blow it or we give up some crucial yardage or an interception.

I miss cheering in my living room when we score, force a timely turnover, or sack their QB for a 12-yard loss.

I miss standing in front of the TV with my hands raised after a big conference win, and yelling "F--k you!" to the first opposing player I see walking off the field in dejection (as childish and vindictive as that is).

I miss staying up late for SportsCenter just to watch the highlights of a Bruins win, especially when the game was big enough that I didn't have to wait through more than two or three other highlights.

I miss SportsCenter even acknowledging that UCLA football exists.

I miss deliberately staying away from all sportscasts and newspaper stories when we lost, just so I don't have to re-live it.

I miss recording the games on my DVR so that if we won, I could re-watch the game in a much calmer state of mind.

I miss getting excited on Wednesday for the game on Saturday.

Put each of those elements together, and you have, I believe, the genetic makeup of a true sports fan. But it's all gone for me this year. If you'd seen me last Saturday during the WSU game, you would not have known I was watching my Bruins play football. I sat on the couch with a diet soda in one hand and my TV remote in the other, changing channels to the $uC-Oregon game every so often, mostly expressionless; not UNinterested so much as DISinterested. I felt no excitement when we scored (that one time), nor did I feel any dejection when WSU ran roughshod all over our defense. The only time I raised my arms in triumph and yelled "f--k you" to the TV screen was when they showed Pom Pom's mug after Oregon intercepted that last pass and $uC was done for. Otherwise, I may as well have been watching San Jose State vs. UNLV.

The saving element for me in all of this is that in roughly ten days, I will again get to experience everything that I listed above when our basketball team finally tips off. Everything I have missed will return for me when the orange ball goes up in the air: nerves, anticipation, excitement, agony after a loss, elation after a win, and a much-needed reminder that in spite of my disposition while watching the football game on Saturday, I am STILL a UCLA Bruin fanatic. Just not for football.

Thank you, Coach Ben Howland. And f--k you, Karl Dorrell.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.

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Thank You, 66

You just put into words everything I have been feeling this entire season. In the old days (pre-KD) friends would call me after a loss to see how depressed I was. I would also tell my staff that my mood on Mondays was directly attributable to what took place on Saturdays. Most of it was done in good natured fun but I still enjoyed myself in being a Bruin Fan.

I've become numb to the weekly disasters. Now I don't really care after another disheartening loss, my only solace is that one more nail is in the coffin for that thief to be fired at the end of the season.

And to think I used to be the optimist.

On a happy note we have another convert to the side of good. My wife's brother ( a fan as long as I) has finally decided KD needs to go. The Wazzou game clinched it for him.

by artybruin on Oct 30, 2007 12:29 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

er, you mean "86," right?

The fact is, no one who reads or posts here has "given up" on Bruin football. We're all junkies on this bus, man. Whether numb, dumb or into the rum, we all line up at the RB or in front of the tube on Fall Saturdays, wanting the best for the team, for the brand, for the U.

Well, Karl the Krappy can't take my faith or devotion to the game, to the team, to the U. Its not a "Faith" - well maybe not. After all, Red Sanders was right (in describing the $C game) when he said "it's not a matter of life and death, it's a little more important than that."

Like a lot of you guys ("86" you're fortunate, your campus years were right in the heart of the best time of the Donahue era - 3 Rose Bowl wins, including 1982's double stomping of Michigan), I'm just sick of having to adopt the "wait 'til basketball season" mode that so typified the 60's and early 70's. Yeah, Howland's got that sport humming like a top again. I get it that we'll never get a campus stadium, but why the HELL can't we have a perennial top 10 football program? There is NO GOOD REASON.

The Mad Bruin

by lostnacfgop on Oct 31, 2007 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Maybe the two go together

If the school can put together something like Ohio State has (2 losses = a down year and a coach on the hot seat), then maybe enough interest can get generated to create an on-campus stadium. I think it would be a better experience, for some reason.

by Fox 71 on Oct 31, 2007 5:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh, fox, put down da pipe.

The stadium will NEVER happen. No more room on campus for the necessary extra structures, and WAYYYYYY too much clout in all those fine fine homes in the 'Woods nearby. It just intrigues me to no end that Berkeley has theirs - its cramped into that crummy little canyon, but its a keeper. How much trouble would it be to enclose Drake with seats all the way 'round? Probably the biggest headache would be all the ancillary facilities that would be necessary (tons of extra bathrooms and the piping to go along, ditto concession areas and so forth . . . talk about creating the ultimate in inhospitable places for the $C ers to come and play . . .

The Mad Bruin

by lostnacfgop on Oct 31, 2007 10:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Parking

As well as the Westwood/Bel Air/Holmby homeowners never letting a stadium happen, I question whether the parking situation around campus would support a 60-70,000 seat stadium.

Actually enclosing Drake could be a bit of a challenge, as far as putting seats behind the endzones (would encroach on either Bruinwalk or the perimeter road btwn Drake and Sunset Blvd. I imagine that a new seating structure could be built on the IM field, opposide sideline from the current seats, though the parking garage recently built under the field could pose structural problems.

by bruinhoo on Oct 31, 2007 10:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Maybe we get DD to put up a chip in meter

and we'll buy all that nice property north of Sunset and put it there. And pass that pipe again, man. Far out.

by Fox 71 on Nov 1, 2007 4:02 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

whoa, Dude. . .

that's like, totally what Al Davis would do, hoss! I got it! Bel-Air Field, at Tishman-Lockheed Stadium, home of the Bruins! Great stuff, man! Where'dja bogart that bud from?

The Mad Bruin

by lostnacfgop on Nov 1, 2007 7:39 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Dude

I'm just abiding. I want my rug back. It pulls the room together.

by Fox 71 on Nov 1, 2007 11:10 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

"this agression will not stand, man"

and, my personal fave,

"I just hate the f***ing Eagles, okay man?"

The Mad Bruin

by lostnacfgop on Nov 1, 2007 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I sort of stumbled over Lebowski by accident

I loved it. It just abides, man. It abides. (Shoot, now I'll be thinking about that movie the rest of the evening.)

by Fox 71 on Nov 1, 2007 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Its a Coen Brothers' cult classic . . .

. . . that has it's own 3 day festival (I've never attended) called "Lebowskifest." Don't know what part of the country you're in, but the "fest" has been in LA, Vegas, and, I think, Louisville. There's quite a lot of bowling and consumption of White Russians, I'm told.

The Mad Bruin

by lostnacfgop on Nov 1, 2007 1:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I didn't stumble

I ran to see that movie, after attending a small lecture by the Coen Brothers, it was really great. And yes, I drank White Russians when I was at a bar for at least a year after that movie.

by tasser10 on Nov 1, 2007 2:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'd like to respond to this comment but . . .

". . . I don't roll on Shabbas!"

The Mad Bruin

by lostnacfgop on Nov 1, 2007 8:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That's all well and good, but

I can get you a toe by 3:00 this afternoon.

by Fox 71 on Nov 1, 2007 10:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

touche!

'nuff said.

The Mad Bruin

by lostnacfgop on Nov 2, 2007 6:51 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Things I Miss

I miss breaking down our tailgate and actually being excited to go into the Rose Bowl to watch the game. Now, its more like, "Aw shit, its time to clean up."

by bruin8uclap on Oct 30, 2007 12:54 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

What?

With all due respect to the original diarist, that's quite the defeatist attitude. You've basically defined yourself as a fair-weather fan and, after Karl Dorrell, that's probably the biggest problem with UCLA football. Yes, we are all upset about the state of the football program, but ignoring it or not caring about it anymore is not the answer. I live 6000 miles away from UCLA and still follow the football team, even when it means staying up until the wee hours of the morning to watch them play. True fans stick with the team through the good times and the bad times. My father has been going to UCLA games with his friends since before I was born and has seen his fair share of ups and downs, but he still goes, still cares and always roots for UCLA.

I guess it all comes down to this: don't give up on the team when they need their fans the most.

by London on Oct 30, 2007 3:21 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Nothing fairweather about this diary

If 86 was a "fairweather" fan he wouldn't be here.

Just a stupid comment on your part and its not the first time.

by Nestor on Oct 30, 2007 4:00 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Thanks

I appreciate being called stupid.

Go Bruins.

by London on Oct 30, 2007 8:17 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Then don't come in here

with your holier-than-thou attitude, proclaiming yourself the arbiter of "true Bruin fans". This also looks glaringly stupid when one could make the argument that your unwavering and unconditional "support" of this team enables mediocre coaches like KD to ruin the football program. But hey, as long as you and your dad have a good time, screw all the players and the other fans and the alumni who are emotionally and financially invested in seeing a quality football team take the field each weekend, unlike the slop we're subjected to currently. Don't jump down someone's throat for pointing out the obvious: that the current coaching staff takes the fun, hope, and joy out of our football season, or did you enjoy the Notre Dame game? If so, then nothing else needs to be said.

by Tydides on Oct 30, 2007 8:42 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Easy there

All I did was point out that it's lame to completely stop caring about the team when they're playing poorly. Limiting your support to a team to only those periods when they are winning and checking out when they're not is being a fair-weather fan. Pointing this out, though, apparently makes me both "holier-than-thou" and "stupid". Awesome.

I don't begrudge anyone the right to be angry at the state of the program. Like most UCLA fans at this point, I'm sick and tired of Dorrell. He should have been fired two years ago, and probably shouldn't have even been hired in the first place. (Seriously... who hires a coach with no head coaching experience?) But that wasn't the point I was trying to make. I just think it's unfortunate that fans just give up. Yes, it's been exceptionally frustrating being a UCLA football fan over the last few seasons, and the team's inconsistency drives me absolutely mad. But, win or lose, I'll be a fan of the team. All will be better with Dorrell gone, but in the meantime, I'm not going to abandon something I enjoy dearly just because of an idiot coaching staff.

by London on Oct 30, 2007 9:16 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That's where you're wrong

He, like many of us, still watched the game as he indicated in his post. His emotional state while he watches it is his own, and largely involuntary, and who could blame him really. It's the same as going to the Rose Bowl for our home games, but dreading actually going into the Rose Bowl for our home games. We are reduced to going through the motions with emotional detachment, and this does not deserve to be characterized with the "fair-weather" label, as it is at best, a mischaracterization, and at worst, a flat out lie. By your definition, if our players are simply going through the motions in practice, as I suspect has been the case considering our flop against WSU, that makes them fair-weather players, which means you have insulted the team. Good job.

Again, the way you framed it suggests that we must always support this team no matter how badly they mess up to avoid your dreaded fair-weather tag. I say that's not being a fan at all, that's being irresponsible.

by Tydides on Oct 30, 2007 9:56 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The picture of CTS looking so dejected

is actually a picture of every Bruin fan subjected to outrageous losses and victories which demonstrate only that the losses aren't anomalies.

That picture captures abject dejection. It is what the fans are being subjected to. We do not have to cheer and wave pom-poms in semi-delusional glee, while the team and the coaches wander aimlessly. The energy being wasted in mindless support is being focused here (and elsewhere) on curing the problem. The problem of course is CTS and perhaps the CAD as well.

When I think of feeling sorry for CTS or when I think that I need to root for the team no matter what, I think of that picture of me (and my Bruin brothers and sisters) that the DB photog caught. It makes me really want to kick that bum out.

by Fox 71 on Oct 30, 2007 10:23 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Fair enough

I think that the way you explain it - "going through the motions with emotional detachment" - is a reasonable way to describe how many feel. The impression I got from the original diary was more than that, though. Reading the post, it felt like something written by someone who was folding. That was a bummer to me, and disappointing. Apparently, I read a bit more into the post. Apologies for that.

I apologize to UCLA Class of 86 for reading too much into the diary and hope that there's no ill will. We're all in the same boat and want a change soon. Hopefully we'll get it.

As for the reaction to my comment, I expected more from fellow Bruin fans than being called stupid, holier-than-thou and then dealing with the implication that I'm somehow less of a fan because I'm younger than some of the other posters (never mind the fact I've been a UCLA fan since birth and have been going to games since 1980). Just sort of shocked me.

Anyway.... I'm ready to move on. How about that Kevin Love?

by London on Oct 30, 2007 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think in general

You're going to get back what you gave. I think a lot of us perceived your original post as an attack on the poster who wrote the diary, so things started off the wrong way. Many of us feel the same way that he does, so labeling him a "fair-weather fan" is going to get some harsh reactions from people who feel similarly. I'd just watch where you use that label, since we typically reserve it for trOJan bandwagon a-holes (the same ones that are jumping off the sinking boat right about now) so it carries some extra negative connotation around here.

by Tydides on Oct 30, 2007 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Let's understand

something. I live almost 4 hours away from the Rose Bowl and still go to the games and still cheer for the players. Depending on the time of the game it could be a turnaround trip for me. That's approximately 20 hours (8 for the trip back & forth, game time & the amount of time I am at the RB before and after the game. Don't give me this "fair weather" fan crap. I have been a fan for more years than you have been on this earth. I probably qualify qualify for the rarified air of the Geezer status of Fox & 66.

I have become inured to the losses because based on the past track record of KD, there coming. Not to superior teams but to teams we have no business losing to. Even the games we win seem like accidents. All I wish for is a well played (coached) game every week.

We aren't getting that now and we aren't goong to get it in the future with this coaching staff.

I want to enjoy football as much as I enjoy basketball. The difference is in the coaching.

by artybruin on Oct 30, 2007 10:26 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Arty, I hereby dub thee Geezer

There are no privileges that go along with this that I can discern. We apparently will have to work with you on your baseball allegiances, but there is always hope for an epiphany.

OK, your Geezerness - what is the first Bruin game you remember attending?

And while you contemplate that, let me throw this out. At some point, the Bruins decided to get rid of the single wing and go to the T-formation. I don't remember any of the details, like the year or the coach or anything like that (are you listening McCloskey?) but I have a distinct recollection that on the Bruins' very first T-formation play, Kermit Alexander went up the middle for 45 yards and a TD. (I wasn't there - saw it on TV.)

by Fox 71 on Oct 30, 2007 11:57 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm with 86 on this.

The team has given up on itself. CTS has robbed me of hope and fun. The failure or refusal of the current athletic director to take action to rectify the situation has made it impossible for any emotion to be stirred up at all by this group.

The players deserve better, of course. But waving pom-poms and cheering senselessly only makes the problem worse, in my opinion. That energy and emotion needs to be channelled in a useful and positive direction. To me, that means working to change the status quo.

I want to get back all the things I miss about Bruin football, as so aptly described by '86. I agree with you that right now the team needs its fans the most, but what it needs its fans to do is not to cheer them on. Instead, the team needs its fans to work to get the inept team management changed. That's what I'm doing. I invite you and your dad to join us in excising the cancer that has struck our beloved Bruins.

by Fox 71 on Oct 30, 2007 4:08 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm not even sure the TEAM has given up.

I don't doubt that with a group composed of nearly 100 players and staff, some of them have given up. But EVERYONE, or even a MAJORITY? I don't think so.

You can have a bunch of guys in a boat falling back to 5th in a 5-boat race at the halfway point, and still not give up.

However, unless there's somebody taking charge and getting them to all row toward the right direction, at the right rhythm, and in the right way, it's not going to matter.

Right now, CTS is looking like just another guy in the boat, and not someone who KNOWS the right way to practice.

"Because I'm tired of it. Year after year after year after year having to choose between the lesser of 'Who cares?'"

by Meriones on Oct 30, 2007 10:36 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The definition of insanity

or something, is "doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result"

In this case, it can apply to both CTS and we fans of UCLA sports.

CTS continually tries the same bizarre implementation of the WCO and it fails to deliver.

We fans keep investing our time and emotions in the team, and are given a whiplash ride, with no consistent success. It has become draining for me to follow this team, both emotionally and financially (having to dish out more $$$$ to get the right channels here in the DC area).

I have been a passionate fan of UCLA since probably before you were born. I can't take it any more. I am waiting for basketball, and to see what moves the Ad makes in December.

Bob O. (Signholder #3)

by TuneMan7 on Oct 30, 2007 4:09 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Very well said

Dorrell has made football irrelevant for many of us. His teams are unexciting and uninspired. I'd sooner watch Oregon or Boise State for some real excitement.

by Barnes2JJ on Oct 30, 2007 5:16 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Agreed

This post really resonates with me, unfortunately. It's just so sad that it's gotten to the point that such a large percentage of the joy I normally get from Bruin football has been sucked out the door by KD et al.

Nice job.

by Menelaus on Oct 30, 2007 5:50 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

When I was a Freshman

and everything was new (including KD's career), this was how I used to feel. I would have been quite shocked back then to see the state that I am in now regarding Bruin football. The color has drained from that world, and the Rose Bowl now appears to me in black and white. I find this appropriate though, as the way to restore the hope, faith, and FUN that Bruin football used to be can only be achieved by ridding ourselves of this pretender of a coach. There are no shades of gray anymore, no other options. My five years here have coincided exactly with the duration of KD's career and I don't wish that fate upon anyone else.

by Tydides on Oct 30, 2007 7:38 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

i agree...

i hate to say i didn't watch the game (here in nyc, and i was not surprised/disappointed that we lost...

i miss the 80's, which (who knew it at the time i was a student) were glory years for UCLA football...

let's get rid of kd....

by nycbruin on Oct 30, 2007 8:44 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Thank you, diarist

I saw my first Bruin game as a high school student in the mid-60's. Throughout my tenure as a UCLA student (1968-72), the football team was usually pretty mediocre, but with a coach like Prothro, we always thought we had a chance. With only one Rose Bowl for the next 10 years, I still kept my season tickets and rooted for my Bruins. In the 80's, I was fortunate to move with the Bruins to the Rose Bowl and witness some great football (as well as great disappointments). We always felt we had a chance, even though many of us were tied in knots by Donahue's conservatism. Yet, we still came. In the 90's, we were rewarded with a 20 game win streak. Then, the roof fell in. Toledo's teams quit as soon as they lost a game. I will never forget his team quitting against USC. I thought I would never live to see such a travesty. I hoped, though never really believed, that Dorrell could restore the program to at least a threat on the Pac 10 and, who knows, national level. After two years of watching Dorrell coach with training wheels, I could no longer justify the 250 mile roundtrip from San Diego. These last two years have seen Dorrell suck the life out of the program as well as my enjoyment,as well as my passion for Bruin football. I guess that is what angers me most about Dorrell, his arrogant vampire like sucking the life out of something I had enjoyed for 40 years. I had hoped to share my love and passion with my son. Despite Dorrell's ineptitude, we would make a couple of trips to the Rose Bowl each year. After this year's Notre Dame debacle, even he does not want to return. Thank you Mr. Dorrell. On a positive note, thank you diarest and thank you Nestor for giving those of us who cared so deeply for the program a place to express ourselves. No, Bruin football is not life or death, it is not my family, but that does not make it unimportant. I hope next year, I can return to Bruin football, win or lose, but always with hope...

by Gary72 on Nov 2, 2007 5:13 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Man, you expressed my feelings and history with

the Bruins completely. While CTS has put the Bruins into a nose dive, I can't stop watching the games. I'm always hoping, but prepared for a train wreck.

Bruin football will survive CTS.

About Prothro, he only had one really poor season, I think, in '68. His teams in '66, '67 and '69 should have gone to bowl games had it not been cheated from the '67 Rose Bowl and also for a stupid exclusivity agreement only allowing the confrence champion to appear in the Rose Bowl and excluding all other teams, no matter their record, from participating in ANY other bowl game that lasted from the '60s to '74.

Same goes for Pepper Roger's '72 and '73 squads. Despite 8-3 and 02 records, no bowl game appearances.

It may have done wonders for UCLA for recruiting players and enticing successful coaches to come and stay at UCLA back then had we had played other bowl and gotten more media exposure.

Donahue was fortunate since he had teams that got to go to other bowls if they didn't win the PAC-10.

Getting some wins agains 'SC and several bowl wins secured his job for a lot longer that it should have.

With CTS at the helm, and his game results, his job has been secure for about 3 years longer than it should have. And sometimes I wish for no media exposure of his games at all.

by bruinhawk on Nov 2, 2007 7:50 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs