FanPost

Dohn: Hire Walker For the Soundbites

It's always been a little mystifying to me why Dohn shills for Walker so blatantly.  I'm no gilbert, but I assume that what he's been doing of late violates all sorts of journalistic rules and standards.  So, to pimp DeWayne so hard, you'd think the two guys were related or frat brothers or something.  Since, as far as I know, that isn't the case, I found Doh!n's latest explanation of why DyNoMite was his choice for the HC job interesting:

I always thought DeWayne Walker should be the guy because he is bright, he loves to compete, he relates well to the players and he has a son their age, he wants to be in SoCal, he understands the intricacies involved in recruiting to UCLA and he has proven he can hire a very good defensive staff, because he's done that. And he has a great personality to give sound bites and make people feel interested during an interview.

Riiight.  Let's break this down.  UCLA should hire Walker because:

  1.  He's bright.  Thank goodness that we are insisting on that!  As I'm sure none of the other candidates qualify as such.
  2.  He loves to compete.  Again, a quality almost completely absent from most people involved in major athletics.  Wow, that's a scarce trait that we should snap up pronto.
  3.  He relates well to the players and has a son their age.  Awesome.  I relate well to players.  I also know many people that age.  In fact, I once was that age.  Not to mention my nieces and nephews that age.  Sign me up!
  4.  He understands the intricacies involved in recruiting to UCLA.  Yeap, just ask Walker's brother; DyNoMite is the only guy in town that could possibly recruit for UCLA.  Jason, at What's Bruin, Dawg?, disposed of this one in rather amusing fashion recently:
Yes, DeWayne Walker is the only individual who has ever successfully recruited at UCLA in the history of intercollegiate football. As of right now, UCLA's 2008 class recruiting rank is #7 in the nation, according to Scout.

To get to a similar point in UCLA's history, you have to go ALL THE WAY BACK TO....uh, the 2002 class- which was ranked....uh...7th.

So, DeWayne Walker's most awesomest recruiting class in the history of the ultraverse is the best recruiting class we've had....since...uh...Karl Dorrell was hired. But apparently no one else can do this. Well, except Bob Toledo. And he's at Tulane, so forget hiring him back.

  1.  He can hire a good assistant staff.  Even taking that as true, congratu-f'n-lations DeWayne.  You maybe had some role in hiring a couple assistant coaches.  I hope you listed this at the top of your resume.

    ... And finally, above all:

  2.  He has a great personality to give sound bites and make people feel interested during an interview.  Jesus Brian.  I know you just want to keep your access.  And I know you and DeWayne are BFF's, but can't you come up with something better than "he makes my job easier"?  For Christ sake.  And this guy from Rutgers is doing all he can to manipulate UCLA's coaching search.
Of course, let's not forget all the things so conspicuously absent from Doh!n's list.  You admire DW's vast head coaching experience, right Brian?  And his ability to consistently stop all kinds of offenses?  Yes, I hear?  And his ability to develop all the senior starters he came into the season with into all-conference honorees?  That too?  Whatever.

I'm sure Doh!n is getting at-a-boys for generating hits to his blog.  But what he's been doing is really a shame.  You'd think his editors would be concerned about this sort of thing.  Perhaps not, but it's good to know that at least some people are on to him.

GO BRUINS.

<em>This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.</em>

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