(fights back laughter). Ya might have heard about this already, but yet another one of Cheatie's prized recruits, Jamere Holland, is leaving college football's "Nirvana". This very startling and unsettling news (fights back laughter) comes just a day after one of SUCs 45 tailbacks, Emmanuel Moody, had finally figured out that there's only one football on the field at any one time.

Here's Pete Carroll on his latest departure:

You know, since the whole Bush fiasco, we've really had to scale back our, you know, "advantages". It's so hard to keep these guy's attention nowadays. This whole playing by the rules thing, really kinda sucks.

Here's what offensive coordinator, Steve Sarkisian had to say:

These guys want to come in here and play right away and be stars. Please. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to sit on the bench a few years and rap a little with Snoop Dogg? Playing time is really overrated. Have you breathed the smog around here? Really hurts the lungs.

SUC fans certainly aren't fretting about losing a couple of guys who, quite frankly, were going to have minimal impact this year. Here's what one SUC alum had to say:

To hell with those guys! Fight on, man! Just win, baby! Those guys were losers, and hey, you know what Vick does to losers, right? Nah, just kidding! Fight on! Whooo!

Um, yeah, so much for the trOJan "family". I guess the "win at all costs" attitude is so pervasive amongst the whole program that no one really cares if a couple of promising recruits get thrown away like trash. But hey, keep Cheatin' On!

And finally, I just can't hold it back anymore:

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!