The Dirt - From the Den (For the Fans - From the Fanatics)

Went to the game tonight. Since there has been so much talk and discussion of fan behavior I decided to copy and paste what the Den handout had this week.

It is playfully funny and while it is biting with sarcasm, it is backed up by facts.

It is fairly hilarious and a good way to get the student section pumped up.

I am just going to type the "dirt" becuase the scouting report is like any typical preview for the game.

The Dirt

Hell-o ASU Devils! While they started red out in the Pac-10, these sneaky devils have since cooled off and have lost three in a row after beginning 14-2. With the recent three game skid, I am sure this isn't where the Devils wanted to be, but some players take this to a whole new level. In fact, James Harden desperately wanted to come to UCLA, but Ben Howland just didn't see potential and didn't recruit him. How badly did he want to come here? He listed L.A. as the place he most wants to live, and this road trip as the one he most looked forward to. He must be excited to lose in a real city for once.

Harden is joined by former McDonald's All-American Eric Boatang. He was spurned by Duke and thought we would transfer to a 'mighty' Pac-10 powerhouse in ASU, where he currently is riding the pine averaging 12 minutes a game. He has started a grand total of one game this year, and apparently has a snowball's chance in hell of getting more playing time. In fact, one reason ASU has been so devilishly good is the fact that they are sitting their players from last year. That is right, if one team doesn't work, move them to the bench. Antwi Atuahene averaged 26 minutes per game last year, but this year has since dropped to 9. Hus buddy Christian Polk went from 30 minutes down to 14, dropping faster than Enron stock. However, it might have had something to do with Polk's 36% field goal percentage.

So what has Antwi been doing with all this time on the bench? Probably 'Moons over my Hammy.' Atuahene isn't open to catch passes anymore, so instead he heads to his favorite restaurant: Denny's, which is always open, like Kevin Love against a Div. II team.

You know what else is open 24 hours a day? Jail. While ASU might not have the hordes of criminals like a certain cross-town 'team,' they compensate with a little factor we like to call MCI, or Multiple Crime Index. Ex-Sun Devil Bryson Krueger has been firing up the criminal car on all cylinders, as last he was arrested for threatening to kill a man. But wait, there's more! On top of this, he was in possession of ectasy, Zanex, cocaine, and un registered hand gun! Shoot! He's a family man as well, as he was previously arrested for assault against his younger brother. Sounds like some tough love to me.

Are we really going to let these gun totin', bench-sitting, college spurned Devil's come into Pauley Pavilion? I think not! So show them what Pauley is really like, be loud, wear blue, and sent Atuahene down Westwood to Denny's before he make it to the court!

CHEER LIKE CHAMPIONS! Beat the Sun Devils!