FanPost

Why SC should be Football #1

Pete Carroll was asked to elaborate on why SC should be voted #1.  He kindly responded with the following data:

1.  We clobbered Virginia, which as you know is an academic school founded by Tommy Jefferson and they managed to win five games if you count those fine programs at Richmond and E. Carolina.

2.  We beat Ohio State, who of course went to the BCS Championship game back-to-back and got blown out by record proportions.  As you know, they are from the Big Ten which is especially important because that conference was good a long time ago.

3.  We almost beat Oregon State, and that setback doesn't mean anything because it was early and it was on the road and because they are a much stronger team than Oklahoma or Florida because they went to the Rose Bowl when Tommy Prothro coached there and could have gone again this year except for being edged by Oregon who eked out 65 points on them.  And it's besides the point that undefeated Utah beat them when we couldn't, because Utah is from a bad conference that merely beat up on the Pac-10 this season.

4.  We beat Oregon, who is actually a team rated in the Top 25.

5.  We beat Arizona State, which is critical because they are considered to be the most underachieving team of the year.

6.  We ran up lots of points on Washington State, which is quite an accomplishment since they have a rookie coach and are rated absolute last in defense in the nation.

7.  We showed great character by pulling away late from Arizona, who of course has a storied history of being the only Pac-10 team to never make the Rose Bowl.

8.  We shut out Washington, who as you know won the Bottom Ten title this year as the only winless major college program in the country.  And we had to do it when they had a lame duck coach and their starting QB was out for the year.

9.  We beat Cal, who is always a powerhouse, like they went to the Rose Bowl as recently as before the President-elect was born.

10.  We showed great skill by pulling away late from Stanford, who is very good at beating swelled-head 41-point favorites even though they have to abide by actual admission standards.

11.  We beat Notre Dame, which everyone knows is a top football program except that they keep firing their coaches.

12.  We beat UCLA, which is notable because they are a rebuilding program which means they might be good someday if they learn to recruit illegally and get away with it like we do.

13.  I am the greatest coach there is (except in the NFL, where you can't cheat) and my squad features more thugs and criminals and rules violators than anyone else. 

So clearly SC deserves to be #1 over anybody who plays in the Big 12 or the SEC or is undefeated.  Don't you dipsticks know we are SC, and we are entitled?

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.

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