Pete Carroll has confirmed the completion of his new book, They Call Me Cheat.

It includes a Forward by the face of USC, OJ Simpson, who was delighted to attend Pete's practices and took time off from tracking down Ron & Nicole's killer to work this up.  The Forward has the inviting title, "If You Did It."

Special features include Pete's Pyramid of Suck-cess (thanks, tasser10), his motivational sayings (samples below), and interviews with key members of his support team (Mike Garrett and Senora Ross).  A photo gallery brings to life each of America's Sweethearts who Pete has contributed (money) to:  Bush-Kardashian, Leinert-Hilton, Maualuga-Andrews, and Sanchez-Complainant. 

Chapters include:

Introduction:  If you Can't Beat 'em, Cheat 'em

Part 1: Recruiting without Borders

Bring us your Indicted, your Poor -- "What you are as a person is far less important than what you are as a football player"

No Receipts, No Regrets

Part 2: Second Choice is #1

Never Discipline (you never know how a thug may react)

Who Needs Education? -- "Drink deeply from good books -- if you can find the library, and not during the season or spring practice"

Crime Pays -- "The team that makes the most felonies usually wins"

Scandals by the Score (thanks, research assistant Menelaus)

Part 3: Basking in Public Acclaim

Conning the Media -- "Make each day your photo op"

Eluding the NCAA -- "Be quick, but don't get caught" (thanks, bruinut)

We Own the Police 

Part 4: The Fine Art of Making Excuses

The Myth of the 41-point Favorite

The NFL was a Sabbatical

Part 5: I Am the Greatest (not that Ali guy)

Commitment to Arrogance -- "Sports do not build character.  Especially in my program"

Resenting your Coordinators

Denigrating your Competitors (special sidebars on DeWayne Walker and Mike Riley)

Conclusion: The Pyramid of Suck-cess -- "Success is peace of mind knowing that you did something very wrong and got away with it"

Testimonials include NCAA's chief enforcement officer ("In these unstable times, Pete represents job security"), LAPD Chief Bratton ("SC offers stuff I never saw in New York!"), Gloria Allred ("If the suit fits, file it"), Mayor Blagojevich ("I'm in good company with pay-for-play"), and several unnamed members of the Federal Witness Protection Program.

<Bruins Nation readers are encouraged to recommend additions, as I'm sure there will be a second ediition>