"They Call Me Cheat"

by ucla7477 on Jan 8, 2009 7:55 PM PST

Pete Carroll has confirmed the completion of his new book, They Call Me Cheat.

It includes a Forward by the face of USC, OJ Simpson, who was delighted to attend Pete's practices and took time off from tracking down Ron & Nicole's killer to work this up. The Forward has the inviting title, "If You Did It."

Special features include Pete's Pyramid of Suck-cess (thanks, tasser10), his motivational sayings (samples below), and interviews with key members of his support team (Mike Garrett and Senora Ross). A photo gallery brings to life each of America's Sweethearts who Pete has contributed (money) to: Bush-Kardashian, Leinert-Hilton, Maualuga-Andrews, and Sanchez-Complainant.

Chapters include:

Introduction: If you Can't Beat 'em, Cheat 'em

Part 1: Recruiting without Borders

Bring us your Indicted, your Poor -- "What you are as a person is far less important than what you are as a football player"

No Receipts, No Regrets

Part 2: Second Choice is #1

Never Discipline (you never know how a thug may react)

Who Needs Education? -- "Drink deeply from good books -- if you can find the library, and not during the season or spring practice"

Crime Pays -- "The team that makes the most felonies usually wins"

Scandals by the Score (thanks, research assistant Menelaus)

Part 3: Basking in Public Acclaim

Conning the Media -- "Make each day your photo op"

Eluding the NCAA -- "Be quick, but don't get caught" (thanks, bruinut)

We Own the Police

Part 4: The Fine Art of Making Excuses

The Myth of the 41-point Favorite

The NFL was a Sabbatical

Part 5: I Am the Greatest (not that Ali guy)

Commitment to Arrogance -- "Sports do not build character. Especially in my program"

Resenting your Coordinators

Denigrating your Competitors (special sidebars on DeWayne Walker and Mike Riley)

Conclusion: The Pyramid of Suck-cess -- "Success is peace of mind knowing that you did something very wrong and got away with it"

Testimonials include NCAA's chief enforcement officer ("In these unstable times, Pete represents job security"), LAPD Chief Bratton ("SC offers stuff I never saw in New York!"), Gloria Allred ("If the suit fits, file it"), Mayor Blagojevich ("I'm in good company with pay-for-play"), and several unnamed members of the Federal Witness Protection Program.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.

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Comments

Don't Forget...

as Petey said: “Loyalty, to yourself and those coordinators who you own. Unless, they actually want to work then forget about them and throw them under the bus”

Victory or until next year!

by ncrpz2 on Jan 8, 2009 9:23 PM PST reply actions

An early review

“A soaring exercise in self-delusion, rationalization, and narcissism. The Appendices "Friendly Lawyers” and “Cooperative Professors” will, no doubt, be of great benefit to justsc athletes. As one rival coach was heard to say, ‘Around here, they call him Peat…, as in fertilizer’."

by Bruinut on Jan 8, 2009 11:07 PM PST reply actions

Tips: First Day of Practice

Extract from the book:
“I understand that Wooden started the first practice by showing players how to put on socks and shoes. He said that the fundamentals had to come first. Now my first day of practice starts with the most important fundamental. Every year I begin by telling my team, "You have the right to remain silent.”

by ucla7477 on Jan 9, 2009 8:37 PM PST reply actions