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Around SBN: The End Of Sabanball: Details, Barbarians, And Precision

"Carroll and Kiffin and Sark"

If Franklin Pierce Adams, who penned the baseball classic "Tinker to Evers to Chance" in 1910, were alive today and witnessing "non"-professional collegiate football, he might be writing the following:

These are the baddest of possible words:

"Carroll and Kiffin and Sark."

Trio of rule breakers, and cheaters of course,

Carroll and Kiffin and Sark.

Ruthlessly pricking other coaches' bubble,

Recruiting players who are felonious double --

Programs that are heavy with nothing but trouble, 

"Carroll and Kiffin and Sark."

 

Of course he only needed one verse for the admirable infielders a century ago, but this disreputable trio would provide him plenty of material to add on (below the jump)...

Star-divide

These are the poorest of academic advancers,

"Carroll and Kiffin and Sark."

Keeping an eye out for transcript enhancers,

Carroll and Kiffin and Sark.

Their students' textbooks are gathering moss,

Library cards are invariably lost,

No problem, just send them to Senora Ross,

Say "Carroll and Kiffin and Sark."

 

These are so brazen with NCAA regs:

"Carroll and Kiffin and Sark."

Serial violators leave the rest with the dregs,

Carroll and Kiffin and Sark.

Sark: recruiting violations are misunderstandings,

Lame: busted six times means unfair profiling, 

Cheat: paying Reggie Bush is just stimulus funding,

"Carroll and Kiffin and Sark."

 

With ill-gotten gains they must be the best,

"Carroll and Kiffin and Sark."

On top of the polls and dead-certain BCS,

Carroll and Kiffin and Sark.

Lame: thumped by Ole Miss and then by the cops,

Sark: a 3-3 start has appallingly dropped,

Cheat: 55 unto Stanford is his latest of flops,

"Carroll and Kiffin and Sark."

 

And of course the poem we are most waiting for: "Mighty Cheaty has struck out!"

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.

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Very good

And the irony is that Joe Tinker, Johnny Evers and Frank “The Peerless Leader” Chance were inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1946 (I think) based mainly on that poem and not for what they did on the field. Their numbers were not that great compared to their contemporaries. (There are any number of sources who will explain why the decision to put them in was bad. Bill James (which I haven’t read personally) argues persuasively for each side.)

Anyway, with all the hype surrounding these guys, it looks like they may well be best remembered for UCLA7477’s poem than for anything else.

by Fox 71 on Nov 19, 2009 7:13 AM PST reply actions  

Amen, brother!

Beautifully written… Always love the lit! Great stuff!

W.S. Montano Class of 1994

by wsmontano1994 on Nov 19, 2009 8:35 AM PST reply actions  

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