most of the rest of the story seems at least plausible to me. but, c’mon? United States China? Seriously?

smells like a rat, its prolly a rat

I mean, really?! You “help finance” (read: buy) a SUV “for the girlfriend” (read: for the guy) of one of U$C’s top football players (read: semi-pro athletes), register a domain name 4joemcknight.com (read: to use to pimp #4 when he can officially go pro), and then you try to claim that your company, called “USC Marketing” is really “United States China Marketing”?

What the f**k does United States China Marketing even mean? Are you marketing something Chinese in the United States? Are you marketing China to the U.S.? Are you selling some kind of dishware made in the U.S.?

Lawyers like to tell juries that, in criminal cases, there’s a difference between reasonable and possible. Anything is possible, but not everything is reasonable. Usually, it comes up when the defense throws out some theoretically possible explantion that, if true, absolves Mr. Criminal, of any wrongdoing. And most of the time, it doesn’t work.

Why? Because anything is possible (read: I snuck into Morgan Center every week and switched up the Bruin playbook, cauing KD to look so confused on the sideline when his offense would flop) but not everything is reasonable (read: KD was confused because he sucked as a HC).

So, look at the evidence here. Dude is buying a car for McKnight’s woman. He registers a website in McKnight’s name. He has a company called USC Marketing and he wants us to believe it doesn’t stand for the University of Second Choice?

I mean, damn, you would think with all of the shady s**t that goes down at U$C, they’d at least be good at lying about this kind of stuff by now. Morons.

I think that one absurd statement tells you that this guy is up to something shady. Why do people use such stupid excuses/explanations?

United States China? Omg this is HILARIOUS. One of those things to add to the list that will never get old. HAHA!

They must think everyone is really stupid. Unfortunately, not everyone went to $C.

ESPN: So you’re saying that the USC in “USCMarketing” doesn’t stand for the University of Southern California"?

Schenter: Of Course not. Furthermore, I’d like to point out that the “joemcknight” in “4joemcknight.com” actually references a marketing talent search I had planned. It was gonna be a night where we “Judged Online/Electronic Marketing Concepts.” You see, j.o.e.m.c. night.

ESPN: What about the “K”?

Schenter: We were going to give the winner a $1000 prize and a contract. So we were actually gonna give away two Ks. Of course, now I wish we had gone with the original domain name idea “4joemc2Knight.” I guess that would have cleared things up here.

ESPN: In additiona to USCMarketing and 4joemcknight, you’ve also registered the business name “NFL Bound Trojans.”

Schenter: Yes, after I discovered that former NFL running back Travis Henry had fathered 9 children by 9 different women I decided that I would take it upon myself to provide professional football players with free effective contraceptives.

ESPN: How about the fact that your email address is “”mailto:studentbodyleft@hotmail.com">studentbodyleft@hotmail.com"?

Schenter: That was in reference to a tragic event in which a local high school student was beaten and then left for dead by a group gang members.

ESPN: You have a son named Orenthal Schenter.

Schenter: I just always liked that name.

ESPN: You’re currently wearing cardinal and gold face paint that reads “fight on”

Schenter: Alright if this is just gonna turn into a some kind of witch hunt, I’m out of here.

Great stuff.

I don’t know what would be. C’mon NCAA, grow a pair and put the hammer down!