First is a Yahoo News report on a Chinese village with lots of people over a hundred.  The article purports to explain their secret.  I don't think it's very difficult to figure that one out.  They were all gymnasts on the Chinese Olympic squad.  They're 102 on their driver's licences, but chronologically, they're all about 60 (perfect for my retirement community.

Second is a joke from the local paper.  I'll re-name the players to make it relevant.  Let's choose, oh, how about Nestor and Class of 66.

Nestor:  Hey 66, wnat to play "Bobbing for Seeds?"

66:  What's that?

Nestor:  You hold a watermelon and suck as many seeds as you can out of it in one minute.

66.  Oh, yeah.  Lemme try.  (Chomp, chomp, chomp, spit, spit, spit.)

Nestor:  Not bad, not bad.  Alright, now we try a new game called 'Farce."  It's like "Bobbing for Seeds," but here, instead of a dry watermelon, we make it harder by oiling it up.

66:  It'll be too hard to hold.

Nestor:  Yeah, that's why we call it "Farce."  It's just a huge comedy of errors.

66:  What if I can't do it with the oily one.

Nestor:  We go back to the other game.

66:  (Wait for it, wait for it)  So if at "Farce" I don't suck seed, try dry again?

Thank you.  I'll be here until Thursday.  Make sure to try the veal, and tip your waitress.