It may surprise you to know that Steve Lavin's time in Westwood was not all spent slicking down his hair and shining his shoes. He managed to cobble together his own version of Coach's legendary Pyramid of Success. He must have dropped this on his way out.
It looks like the good folks of St. Johns are in for an education. He had hand-scribbled some notes on the page, which I have transcribed below:
Have Pedigree: Pref. a respected Dad, coach
Get Assistants: Pref. those who know zone from man.
Blame Others: Especially unrealistic fans.
Be Lucky: Be an assistant on a championship team whose coach is about to be canned
Use Clichés: See Meriones.
Drop Names: Mention "John Wooden" at least six times an hour. See Freesia39.
Look Good: Clothes out of GQ; shoes that would please a drill sargeant.
Have Hot Wife: Makes other men say "Damn! Wonder what he's got?"
Hair Gel: Lots and lots of hair gel