Pre-Announcement Guesses: NCAA Penalty For Trojan Cheaters Edition

that’s what I want, no TV and a bowl ban of a couple years

I expect the NCAA to submit a formal apology to $c for putting them through such a “tough” investigation. Seriously though, the NCAA won’t dole out the “Death” penalty, so whatever penalty it deems appropriate will be too light.

just$c* has been doing what it does for decades. It is truly institutioinal, but not a lack of institutional control. It is absolute, total, unequivocal control by the institution. They have institutionalized cheating. It has been that way before any of the current administration or faculty or students got there. It will be that way up until the dreaded “Big One” which makes them and undersea school.

So why should this be different? They will get a “Stern Talking To,” coupled with several “Raised Eyebrows” and the ever-feared “Tone of Righteous Indignation.” Then the real penalties. Oh, yeah, baby, they’re coming, and they’re real penalties. We’ll get those trogans, who violate our rules, saith the ncaa. Don’t think we’re not going to penalize them, because, you betcha, that’s going to happen.

And now for something completely different. The Larch.

I think it will go something like that.

the NCAA ignores the football team completely and awards the death penalty to the $uc equestrian team for their violation of horse’s rights. The NCAA will also order $uc to reattach the unicorn’s horn and place it in Lame’s office so that the pretty princess can ride her pony whenever she wants.

As you say, “Either way it doesn’t matter: we will have to beat those chumps on the field in 207 days.”

Vacated wins (I still say they should keep the losses, ha) including their one real and one imagined championship, 5 years probation, 3 year post season ban, 5-10 scholarships lost per year, and maybe some sort of TV ban (so as to make big time recruits hesitated due to lack of exposure). Then the Heisman committee should take away bu$h’s trophy.

In reality, I agree they will probably give the basketball team the death penalty and put football on probation for 2 years.

Slightly separate, where is a link to the list of trogan offenses. It hasn’t been posted and I can’t quite figure how to word my search and can’t remember how far back it was. I found Menelaus’ post of the top 15 offenses of 2007, but I want to take another gander at the full list. Can anyone find a link or tell me how to word my search? Thanks!

I will be satisfied it those slugs across town get the following:

-3-5years probation
-2 year bowl ban (to me this is the biggie)
-Loss of 20 scholarships over 3-5 years.
-No TV for one year. In year 2 & 3, allowed on TV, but limited.
-Loss of some in-home visits or recruiting trips cut in some way or another.
-Forfeit all games in National Championship season. Lose the championship.

Now, since I am a realist, I know that won’t happen. The NCAA will try to make it seem like they are handing down the hammer, but they surely won’t screw over their west coast cash cow. Here is what is likely to happen:

-3 years probation
-1 year bowl ban (they will think this is the biggie, but anything less than two is a joke)
-Loss of 15 scholies over 3 years
-Limited TV over first year. No ban in year 2 &3.
-No recruiting limitations.
-No loss of national championship.

Should be interesting!

play, pay, market, educate (Trogan ethics – United States, China school of business), furnish transportation to, offer extension classes for via Señora Ross, entertain across state lines with hostesses, or contact after already signed to another school those athletes who are determined to be Trogan material within 10 minutes of meeting.

Also they can never get rid of Garrett and Kiffin. Ever, ever, ever.

Never.

Pete Carroll when he is fired from the Seahawks if he wishes to return to college football must serve a one year suspension or a show cause order placed on him . FUSC is banned for two years from off campus recruiting. All victories during which Bush was a part of are whiped clean. 4 years probtation. Banned from tv for three years and and banned from bowl game participation for four years. Loss of scholarships for the next five years.

Ted Miller’s UCLA Football prognostication:

Kraft Fight Hunger

UCLA vs. Nevada: The Bruins go 6-6 against a brutal schedule, with every game decided by a touchdown or less. The big news, however, is the series of round-off back handsprings coach Rick Neuheisel does down winding Lombard Street when linebacker Akeem Ayers, defensive end Datone Jones and safety Rahim Moore each announce they will return for the senior season.

I’d say that’s pretty realistic, priming up for our 2011 campaign.

If that is all that happens, I’ll be happy because I’m mean like that.

Think about it, they lose that, the only fruit of their “great” run will be gone. It would also cast dispersions on the prior year claim of a championship. All that would make the trogans cry and I could drink their sweet, sweet tears.

…they lost their football coach, they lost their basketball coach, they lost their President…the only one left there is Garrett, maybe b/c he has no other options for employment. If I was the NCAA, all that looks like a lack of institutional control (i.e., guilty minds head for the hills). However, all but Garrett is gone. Can’t punish ghosts, but they could punish the current recruits, who, let’s face it, don’t really deserve the punishment IMO. Do these recruits really deserve to have the team scholarships reduced so they have no recruits about the time they will be peaking (as juniors and seniors)? I say penalize the school in lost TV for 5 years at least, and vacate some wins. And have Garrett agree to resign by holding stiffer penalties over them unless he walks. Things won’t change with people lik Garrett still there, no matter what the penalty is.

 I will be happy. It’s just pathetic what kind of people that place churnes out and associates itself with. From you OJ’S to your meth addicts, to your drug dealing, player paying, and prostitution running individuals. From cheating to covering up and paying people off. To their corrupt school officials keeping the NCAA from really handing down a JUST sentence. I don’t even bother to call them an actual University.

In any case, The initial point of my comment was to say, Nes, That picture of Cheatey is absolutely hilarious. Excellent taste for the post!

Go Bruins!!!

Is there such a thing as supervised recruiting?

Perhaps the NCAA has been waiting for the $c alumni to come up with an “honorarium” so as to really find out how bad the “wrist slap” or “double secret probation” will be. I hope the worst possible sanctions EVER for this place! How about no more football or basketball at Fig. Tech for at least 10 years for starters.

For the past, forfeit every FB game Bush was in and every BB game OJ2 was in, including actual and purported national championships plus a Heisman.

For the future, make every player declare a major, take true academic courses (no ballroom dancing), not allow any credits from Senora Ross or other Trogan-alum grade-inflation institution of lower learning, and receive the same criminal justice treatment as any other individual arrested with probable cause. This, more than TV bans or postseason bans, is certain to ruin their recruiting forever.

There is always a guy who drives on the shoulder, cuts in and out, drives in the car pool lane, drives 90 miles an hour, and robs two or three liquor stores as he’s doing all that, and he never EVER gets a ticket. just$c* has been collectively mooning the ncaa since John McKay was a teenager, and for some reason they never even get pulled over, let alone given a ticket.

But if UCLA does a rolling stop, it’s time for the death penalty.

1. 3 years probation, possibly only 2 for “good behavior”.
2. NO post season ban whatsoever.
3. Loss of 5 rides a year for 2 years
4. Reduction in official visits and number of recruiting days for ONE year, but that’s all the penalty they get on the recruiting front.
5. No receipt of money from Bowl games for 2 years.
6. No vacating of wins or title.
7. Bush doesn’t have to return Heisman, because the NCAA’s top-flight investigation team bet it all on the civil depo, and got bupkis.

M