I know, I know... That is like asking OJ not to kill his wife, or Hello Kiffin to win a football game. Anyways, here is Southern Cal's president beginning his commencement speech during Trogan graducation (HT sjheller):
And what threshold of USC presidency could Sample claim to have achieved if he didn't take one last crack at crosstown rival UCLA?
OK, if we must; A UCLA graduate dies and goes to heaven. God meets him and escorts the Bruin to a beat-up shack with weathered UCLA banners adorning the dreary structure. The Bruin surveys the horizon and spots a gorgeous, spacious mansion highlighted by crisp, colorful USC flags.
“Wouldn't you know it,” says the UCLA grad. “The arrogant, obnoxious Trojan gets a beautiful mansion and I get this shack.”
“Oh no,” God says. “That's not just any Trojan's house...that's mine.”
Off the chain.
Now it is certainly true that we like to talk some (well deserved) trash about the trogans, and I imagine they feel the same way about us. But I don't think any of us would expect, or particularly desire that feeling to flow into graduation, the commemoration and celebration of our 4 years (5 for the lucky ones) at the school that we grew to love, nor having that come from Chancelor Block (or Al Carnesale, Charles Young, etc). As someone who was a graduate student at Virginia while Block was second-in-command at the university, I can't recall hearing Block take that kind of a shot against UVa's rivals (Maryland and Virginia Tech) during my time at UVa, particularly not at a university celebration.
Even on the biggest day in the lives of many of his students, the head trogan's mind wanders to UCLA. Wander On!