You may have heard that Lil Romeo is vacating his spot at the end Trogan bench. You may not know, however, that in his short time at SC, Lil Romeo accomplished quite a bit. Here is just a partial list of his notable achievements:
-Personally funded the brown paper bag filled with money out of his own allowance.
-Officially changed his nickname from "Lil Romeo" to "And One" (as in DeMar DeRozan and one).
-Proposed a plan to "lower" the Co$tco Center and add 22 inch spinners on each corner. Ultimately rejected by
-Led successful campaign to rename the lines painted on the streets from the nine o back to frat row "The Percy
Miller Trail of Puke and Urine" (the lines are there because SC students are too dumb and drunk to find their
own way home).
-Penned a new song about his experience at ole SC. Here is a sample verse:
Came to school
on a package deal
with my man who is for real
Now he’s gone
and I’m riding the pine,
in the heart of the Trogan hood
-Family funded the "Garrett-Carroll Head in the Sand Scholarship", awarded annually to the freshman who
cheats on his or her entrance exam in such a way as to allow the coaches and headmaster at his or her high
school to deny any knowledge of the malfeasance.
-Led an initiative to officially name the restroom in the men's locker room at Co$tco Center. It is now
known as the "Master P".
-Family also funded a tenured position for the study of theories of plausible deniability in modern regulatory
-Lead donor in fund drive to establish a legal defense fund for SC athletes who "stray" called the Trojan Trutanich
Ubiquitous Rehabilitation and Defense fund, or Trojan T.U.R.D. for short. Need is so high that the fund is now
over $20 million.
-Most importantly, is leading the lobbying effort at the NCAA to reduce penalties for infractions that occur more
than two years before sanctions are handed down by the NCAA. And One has seized on, and is attempting to
advance, the argument made by dumbshits like Rod Gilmore who say things like, "Who cares . . . that happened
six years ago."
He has much to be proud of.