Please allow me to introduce myself 
I'm a man of stealth and haste 
I've been around for 'bout half a year 
Got my hostesses interstate 

And I was 'round when Norm Chow
Had his offense stripped away
Made damn sure that Petey 
Washed his hands and sealed Norm's fate 

Pleased to meet you 
Hope you know I'm Lane
But what's puzzling you 
Is can I coach The Game 

I stuck around at Rocky Top
'til I saw it was a time for a change 
Skipped out with my trophy wife
So they burned a mattress in vain 

I am a fake
'cause my coahing's rank 
So Al Davis raged 
When my Raiders stank 

Pleased to meet you 
Hope you guess I'm Lane, oh yeah 
Ah, what's puzzling you 
Is my total lack of shame, oh yeah 

I signed with glee 
While your past AD
Fought NC - A - A
For the Bush they paid  

I shouted out, 
"Who's calling Baxter D.?" 
When after all 
It was D and me 

Let me please introduce myself 
I'm a man of unearned faith
And I recruit 13 year olds
Cause they believe the words I say 

Pleased to meet you 
Hope you worship Lane, oh yeah 
But what's puzzling you 
Is what's my claim to fame, oh yeah, get down, baby 

Pleased to meet you 
Hope you guessed I'm Lane, oh yeah 
But what's confusing you 
Is are Pete and I the same.(?)

Just as I called run on 4th and 2

I will disregard complaint

I'll steal your coach

from the NFL

'Cause I have no self restraint 

So if I recruit you
Have some fantasy 
That you'll go to an FBS game
Use all your well-learned twittereze 
And become a Trogan transfer today

Pleased to meet you 
Hope you praise me, Lane, mmm yeah 
But what's puzzling you 
Is will Haden take the blame, mmm mean it, get down 

Apologies to the Stones

s