Trogan-to-English Do-over: Revisionist Reggie

Although Telemachus and bruin_nerd suggested I should translate the second Reggie Bush explanation, I was disinclined, until USC Research Fraud Chief Senora Ross informed me that I was going to get an "F" because the piece I translated for Lesson 5 was a total fabrication.  "I know our football studs, er students, and I know none of them can talk like in that statement.  You go back and get a real Reggie Bush piece and resubmit!"  Well she sure knows her boys; no one could (on his own) come up with "storm around these allegations" or employ "solace" in a sentence.  So the following url is Reggie's non-released-statement statement (aka second explanation for returning the Heisman)  with translation.

"It's definitely not an admission of guilt."

It was a humanitarian gesture.  You know we Trogans never plead guilty -- and we have plenty of opportunities.

"It's me showing respect to the Heisman Trophy itself and to the people who came before me and the people coming after."

It's me sending the trophy back before they send the sheriff to repossess it.  


"I just felt like it was the best thing to do..."

Not the right thing, which would have been to decline it in the first place, or even to send it back a couple weeks ago when Pat Haden's soul would have done so.

"...I do respect all the things it stands for."

Like sportsmanship, fair play, winning within the rules.  You know, all the stuff Pete Carroll promotes.

"I felt just to kind of silence all the talk around it,..."

I'm good at silencing talk.  Normally I just pay big bucks for a settlement with a confidentiality clause, right before I'm to be deposed under oath.

"...I felt like this would be the best decision to do right now so I could focus."

I'm tired of being pestered to tell the truth, so I finally coughed up the trophy in hopes you guys will stop asking me stuff.

Bush said he consulted family and close associates...

I consulted Coach Kiffin, even though I'm diassociated;  OJ Simpson, he had some time available; Coach Carroll, you could say he's my conscience; and lots of lawyers.  i tried to consult Kim, but she hung up on me.

"My mom and dad didn't want me to give it back,"

They believe in keeping things you didn't earn, don't deserve, and which violate the rules.

"...this is a learning experience for me and anybody else coming after me."

Don't get caught!

"This is just a part of life."

You know, illegal payments, cover-up settlements, not talking to the NCAA, just the normal college experience at Troy.

"You learn."

Not so much at SC, but you know, afterwards.

"You get stronger and hopefully you never make those same mistakes again."

Mistakes — like accidentally living in a home my family didn’t pay for; like driving a tricked out car I inadvertently got a pink slip to; like unintentionally pushing Leinart into the end zone; like beyond-my-control cheating on Kim…  We Trogans never commit crimes or violate rules; they're just "mistakes."

"How do I clear my name? I don't know. I'm not sure."

It's quite simple.  You meet with the NCAA, under oath, in a public setting, and tell all you know.  And to prove you're telling the truth, you release everyone from confidentiality agreements and ask them to do the same.

"I've obviously got to brainstorm..."

That's something we did a lot of in school.

"I'm here to lend a helping hand to USC and any time they need me and any time I can do something to help them, they know I'm just a phone call away."

An illegal phone call, of course.

Bush said he also wants to start a program to help high school and college athletes deal with the pressures and temptations...

Announcing the "If you got a nice house and a nice car from sports agents, you deal with the pressure by dating a Kardashian" 12-step program.

"You're still a kid, but you're still asked to make adult decisions," 

I know I can vote and can serve our country in the armed forces, but I chose SC precisely because I wanted to be catered to, have no responsibilities, and get away with murder.  (Well not me, but another one of our Heismans.)

"You've got universities making millions of dollars off these kids and they don't get paid."

Except for me, of course.  And some other folks at my school, but I ain't gonna talk about them.  


<A separate translation was turned in by Steve Sarkisian: "...he just looks like an idiot again.">




<em>This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.</em>

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