Garlic Joe's Weekly Digest: Dan Guerrero Invites You to his Birthday Party!
by tasser10 on Nov 10, 2011 3:11 PM PST
in Garlic Joe
Email
Print
Editor's Note: Dear Readers, Garlic Joe recently came back to work after having to walk home from Tucson when the team bus left without him. It's a long way with little legs.
It has been a whirlwind month for UCLA football. Coming back from the depths of an embarrassing beatdown at the hands of the lowly Arizona Wildcats, UCLA had to look deep inside to find its soul. And so they did, beating their next two opponents at the Rose Bowl to sit atop the South Division.
Those weren't the Santa Ana winds, it was the sigh of relief coming out of Dan Guerrero, UCLA's Athletic Director.
After fielding thousands of emails and calls from dissatisfied fans, Guerrero can finally take a break and breathe again, especially after announcing that the first step of his football strategy was being implemented with a game in Cowboy Stadium.
So, what better time to celebrate his birthday with fans of the best university in the world?
I am delighted to tell you that every Bruin has been invited to Dan Guerrero's birthday celebration tonight!
The party will be held at the Riverside YMCA. Guests will be able to enter for free by showing a Bruin ID or some type of proof of graduation.
For a $15 fee, guests can enjoy healthy heapings of mac'n cheese and Capri Sun, followed by an Entenman's cinnamon cake.
For a $25 fee, the above will feature one serving of boxed chianti.
The basketball court will feature various pictures of Dan Guerrero with celebrities, including the full slate from his visit of Cowboy Stadium with Jerry Jones. At one end of the court a screen will be set up to show Dan's vacation videos from Italy, while the other end will feature three computer stations that will allow guests to read his magnificent blog.
As a tribute to the unbelievable turnaround of the football team, one corner of the gym will be adorned with a rotating ice sculpture of a football to symbolize the turning of the corner, while paper plates will be imprinted with "First in the South!" in gold letters.
Finally, guests will also be able to purchase autographed copies of Guerrero's latest book, all proceeds of which will be used to fund his plane ticket to Italy for Chianti tasting.
Come and celebrate, and don't forget to bring your boots to practice your two-step!
10 comments
|
1 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
I forgot to mention that!
Aaargh!
Yes, it’s supposed to be surprise but there will be a 10 ft by 10 ft birthday card from Karl that will arrive in the middle of the party.
But hey, what do I know. I’m just the 800 lbs bruin in the room.
Nobody here at the YMCA in Riverside.
I was visiting my son in Riverside and drove over to the YMCA at 4020 Jefferson St., Riverside, CA 92504. They don’t know anything about a birthday party. They were making plans for a basketball tournament. Is there another YMCA. Wait a minute, could the party be at the YWCA?
Wrong hat
Shouldn’t the headwear be a dunce cap? I believe in realism.
As any teen might say,
omg, OMG, OOOMMMGGG!!! I had opened the “after the jump” section in another tab, then went off to read other threads. When I came back to Garlic Joe’s Weekly Digest, I was presented with a hi-res picture of what appears to be a chagrined Dan in suit, tie, and picador birthday hat. The effect was like one of those practical-joke scary pix that pop up on your monitor when you least expect it, only this one was for humor, not fright. I’m sure glad I wasn’t drinking anything at the time, because I lost it.
Boxed Chianti? Hilarious. I noticed that the box had no Italian-flag stripes, so I presume that Adidas was involved.
Thanks for the relief, tasser. Just the antidote for sordid Penn State news.
One thing the invite failed to mention
is that the basketball court at the Y is not full sized, which should make all our D-1 athletes feel just like they are on campus.
greg in denver, U.C.L.A. guy for life - BruinsNation.com
The celebration candles are rather phallic
Another Guerrero error. That’s E2 for the former Bruin second baseman.
Which reminds me of a story having nothing to do with anything
A guy who played at the same time as Davy Concepcion, I think he was a pitcher on another team, once told someone he thought Concepcion’s first name was Elmer. When asked why, the reply was “Every time I look in a box score, I see E. Concepcion, so I was just assuming.”
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
