Bruin Bites: Chianti Dan is the Worst Athletic Director in the Nation Edition

LOL. Doesn't this just epitomize Chianti Dan's Reign of Error? Not only is he making his third football head coach hire (usually, any school with any respect for itself axes a loser AD who makes two bad hires), but he put our joke of a basketball program in a joke of a facility, where they can't even keep the lights on for a major game. Chianti Dan FAIL.

It's been a crazy week around UCLA, with the coaching search feeling more like a roller coaster than an intelligently planned, well-executed hiring process. Oh, yeah, that's right: Chianti Dan is in charge, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that our coaching search feels sloppy and half-ass. Never mind that our basketball program continues to be a total fail (and at this pace, we'll be looking for a new basketball coach real soon) embarrassing the four letters (the irony being that even Rick's teams looked more prepared and played with more heart than Howland's feckless, weak-willed, out-of-shape ramble).

Despite this parade of horribles, the worse news is that Chianti Dan, the buffoon who is easily the worst athletic director in the nation, flew down to Houston to beg over-rated Houston head coach Kevin Sumlin to stay in the game for UCLA amid reports that Sumlin is about to accept the Texas A&M job. Okay, let's set aside the fact that Kevin Sumlin is woefully under-qualified. I mean, I guess I'd look like an offensive genius too if my entire head coaching career was supported by an all-world, sixth year senior QB and I inherited a program built by someone else. Oh, and don't mind that Sumlin was exposed last year for being a mediocre coach when Keenum got injured (this happening after Rick Neuheisel already had Sumlin's Houston Cougars on the ropes in the Rose Bowl) and embarrassed on national television by a much better coaching candidate, Southern Mississippi's Larry Fedora. Even if Sumlin was worth pursuing (he's not, and Dan if you hire him, we will turn up the heat on you ten-fold), once again Chianti Dan has been caught with his pants down, playing catch-up, and demonstrating how half-ass his "coaching search" is being conducted. Rather than cultivating a relationship behind the scenes, sending out feelers, and planning a hiring process, Chianti Dan, having been forced to fire Neuheisel, is now scrambling to make a football hire since it's painfully obvious that, being a moron with no vision for this athletic department, he has done nothing to plan for the contingency that he'd need to fire Neuheisel (which should have been obvious after the Debacle in the Desert). But knowing Chianti Dan's bumbling stupidity, we'll end up with some retread failure like Herm Edwards, a guy who the closest he's been to a football field the last few years has been Coors Light commercials.

One last thought: if Chianti Dan hires Kevin Sumlin, especially with other more viable candidates in play (Petersen, who has yet to deny he's interested, Fedora, Butch Jones, Dantonio, Manny Diaz, etc.), we will call for nothing short of a scorched earth full-on war against Chianti Dan and will not stop until he is fired.

So, before we get to the Bruin Bites for this Sunday morning, don't forget to sign up at the Fire Dan Guerrero Facebook group. With that, let's take a look at the bits and pieces of news from around the UCLA-iverse after the jump.

With that, those are your Bruin Bites for the end of the week as we gear up for another crazy week here in the wider Bruin Nation. With Chianti Dan's football coach search in full gear, it'll be a full week, so stay tuned.

And this bears repeating: if Chianti Dan hires Kevin Sumlin, especially with other more viable candidates in play (Petersen, who has yet to deny he's interested, Fedora, Butch Jones, Dantonio, Manny Diaz, etc.), we will call for nothing short of a scorched earth full-on war against Chianti Dan and will not stop until he is fired.

For now, fire away with your thoughts, comments, and additions in the comment thread.

GO BRUINS

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