"This year the bubble was so soft that, really, anybody could make it with a droplet of effort.  So we looked for discriminators.  Did we include Southern California because it plays in a top conference?  Um, no.  Did we include them because of all their losses to sub-200 teams?  No, although that is a fact.  Did we include them because of their storied roundball history?  Since we can't even name any of their past players other than OJ2, obviously not.  Did we include them to raise the average IQ of the tournament field?  In a word, NO.

"We chose to include them to provide a strong message of support to the new administration of the (so-called) University, particularly the harsh, no-nonsense discipline meted out by the Athletic Director.  It made a major statement that Mr. Pat Haden suspended Coach O'Neill for one full game.  This far exceeds the combined suspensions for Coaches Carroll, Kiffin, and Orgeron, so clearly there is a new compliance attitude in South Central.  (At least for basketball.)  

"So instead of someone academic like Boston College or a division winner like Alabama or someone from the ACC like Virginia Tech, we are proud to select the University of Spotless Character to this year's NCAA.  Note that it is a tribute to our mercy that they weren't still ineligible for post-season play."