Trogan-to-English: Festival of Books
by ucla7477 on Apr 28, 2011 6:12 AM PDT
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PrintThe L.A. Times put out their annual announcement of the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. It was held for several years at UCLA, where I went twice to (naturally) get Coach to autograph his books for me. Now the Times has moved the event to South Central, providing more opportunities for translating Trogan into English (in this case English Lit).
Let's start with the main story (Welcome).
... a fun-filled weekend-long community celebration that is sure to educate, inspire, and entertain the entire family.
The people there will receive the new experience of being educated.
"Our new home at USC offers an exciting next chapter..."
Well, not really a home. Everyone knows it's not safe to live there.
"We'll be expanding popular programming.."
Rather than the serious, intellectual, cultured stuff.
"... and enhancing exhibitor activations..."
I'm not sure what this even means. There were some activated exhibitors on the Campus rooftop, so maybe they plan an encore?
"The Campus offers more places to relax..."
In lieu of classrooms, libraries, special exhibits, etc.
USC.. will transform into a village of intellectual excitement...
The transformation, like Cinderella's, expires at the stroke of midnight, then they return to the far more popular and traditional pigskin-worshipping and other chauvinist antics.
... inquisitive panel discussions and celebrity interviews with Times journalists...
Bill PlaSChke will regale the audience with a comprehensive history of the fishwrap's heavy-duty investigative reporting of the Reggie Bush scandal.
Bring the whole family... and participate in an assortment of kids' activities...
Boy, Mom, look at those people up on the roof! I've never seen anything like this! I just put it on YouTube.
Then the Prez of Troy adds his two cents:
"The enthusiasm on our campus is building!"
Well, not exactly. Not like for the frat boy on the roof. Or for the Cheat Pete practices with all the runners, marketeers, groupies, and a double-killer who, of course, is a revered member of our Trogan family.
"...comedy presentations..."
Like Matt Leinart in study hall, OJ Simpson testifying in his latest trial, Pete Carroll doing his Sgt. Schultz imitation, Rey Rey auditioning for Dancing with the Stars, and the piece de resistance, Sra. Ross dramatically announcing the final grades for Spanish.
"We promise a vibrant two days."
Which is a really really long time. Twice as long as the harsh suspensions Lane Kiffin imposes on his non-student-athletes.
"We hope you join us for this intellectually inspiring weekend."
But don't think of dropping in on a weekday. You won't find anything of the sort.
I hope the attendees really do get something good out of the Festival of Crooks, er, Books. But I know they won't have Coach signing any books there; SC will continue to be Second Choice.
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.
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My family
has attended every one – but we won’t be going this year.
by haywood nighttrain on Apr 27, 2011 7:06 AM PDT reply actions
I love
the “trogan-to-english” series. One thing though, I think we (UCLA fans) should stop putting down the area around $C. We all know that it isn’t the safest of areas and that L.A. in general has a lot of crime. I grew up in this part of L.A. (lived in the jungles, and across from the coliseum, etc.) and it isn’t fair to make fun of this community because of Trogans. UCLA represents Los Angeles…all of it. The fan base/alumni/current students come from all areas of Los Angeles and California. Let’s keet the insults to the sleezeball, skirt wearing, cheating Trogans.
+1 billion.
Referring to U$C as “University of South Central” just makes people that much more appreciative of the school. Denigrating the area and putting down the people that live there is not something Bruins should support. The reason U$C is so popular is because many people regard UCLA as elitist, when in fact U$C is far more so. However, because of terms like “South Central” and other terms to refer to poorer areas of LA by UCLA students, we become the bad guys. U$C sucks. But all of Los Angeles should know that Bruins are better than that.
"Every day was a good day at UCLA." -Coach John Wooden
by OswegoBruin on Apr 27, 2011 10:04 AM PDT up reply actions
When I say that
I actually refer to the campus itself, i.e. the dorms, etc. I have walked around the outskirts of U$C and felt perfectly safe…but I have gone to the Crapiseum and feared for my life.
But hey, what do I know. I’m just the 800 lbs bruin in the room.
*$c and books.
It just sounds like such a contradiction in terms.
greg in denver, UCLA guy for life - BruinsNation.com
by gbruin on Apr 27, 2011 11:02 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
I get nuts
when I see contrived phrases like this.
“… and enhancing exhibitor activations…”
Some people think that stringing nouns together makes them sound smart. I don’t. What, exactly, does “enhancing exhibitor activations” mean? George Carlin would be all over this.
I think your interpretation, 7477, is perfect. We got your exhibitionists right here.
They meant to write
exhibitor activities. Unless the exhibitors this year are robots because no human wants to go to U$C.
But hey, what do I know. I’m just the 800 lbs bruin in the room.
Even so
“Enhancing exhibitor activities” is so crapspeak. It’s like asking “Are you going to take advantage of the Disneyland opportunity?” when what you really want to know is “Are you going to Disneyland?”
Carlin nailed it. People string superfluous words together because they think it makes whatever they’re trying to say sound more important.
Your loquacious verbosity
ultimately won me over.
But hey, what do I know. I’m just the 800 lbs bruin in the room.
this means it will be more commercial with more people selling you things
that is one of the reasons why they left. UCLA didn’t want to turn into a corporate sales meeting, which of course SC was fine with.
by silverlakebruin on Apr 29, 2011 8:53 AM PDT up reply actions
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