We play *$c tonight, so naturally I'm thinking about Eric Affholter.
If there is a number one all-time anti-U.C.L.A. villain for me, it's him. I've hated that guy since he carried on the legendary $c tradition of scoring touchdowns that weren't really touchdowns, most notably when he juggled a ball about 8 feet out of the end zone against the Bruins in 1987, yet was somehow awarded a touchdown to seal a 17-13 trogan win and rip the '88 Rose Bowl from us.
Well, maybe it was closer than 8 feet out of bounds, but not much. The trogies are lucky there were no red flags and coaches' challenges in those days. Especially considering he stepped out of bounds on the sideline on a touchdown run against us the very next season and stole the Rose Bowl from us again. Affholter?! Twice?! Pure hate!
Some might say it is irrational for me to hate someone I never met. I guess it's possible that Affholter is the greatest guy ever, but I doubt it. The similarity between his last name and a certain orifice at the end of the rectum is surely no coincidence. And I'm sure I'll get over it in another lifetime or two, so it's not like I'm completely obsessed. But not yet. That agony hasn't faded. Just a year ago, my friend Todd (who is both a Trojan alum and and attorney, but is still somehow a really good guy) gloated over how Affholter still caused me so much pain after 20+ years.
Okay. Maybe three lifetimes.
Anyway, I was inspired to write this by a comment that Cade McAdverb put up the other day when discussing our Final Four runs vs Florida several years ago
and then when you’d finally, maniacally played enough defense to hold them for 30 seconds on a possession, that little dead-eye f***er Humphrey would drop a three-pointer on you.
I don't know Lee Humphrey personally either but I'm pretty sure Cade actually underestimated him. That guy probably works for the devil and may in fact be his nephew.
So I wondered who else out there holds that special place of eternal hate in Bruins hearts?
My runners up include Fennis Dembo, who scored 41 and single handedly shot Reggie Miller and U.C.L.A. out of the 1987 NCAA tournament. Hate him. Don't know him, but still hate him. He may be out helping old ladies cross the street but I assume it's more likely he's stealing purses from them. A dishonorable mention for me, since it wasn't against our Bruins, goes to Christian Laettner. I saw him rip out the hearts of KY fans (and who, besides $c fans, deserves it more?) with that miracle turnaround catch and shot, and as I watched his celebration dance down the floor, the rush an all-time buzzer beater was replaced by mild repulsion. When he was somehow named to the Dream Team, it fostered a lifetime of hate not just for himself but for his entire school. Laettner may be a great guy, but I doubt it, and I'm know he's why I hate Duke and think Coach K looks like a rat.
Well those are 3 of mine. Who are your most hated anti-U.C.L.A. villains and why?