No. This is not an article from the Onion:

A pro football player who leapt from his burning third-floor apartment in Liberty Lake Thursday said he started the blaze with a marijuana blunt because God told him to, authorities say.

Kevin Marcus Ellison, 25, a starting linebacker/defensive back for the Spokane Shock arena football team, initially told firefighters that he'd been smoking in bed, but evidence collected at the scene didn't match that explanation, said Spokane Valley Fire Marshal Kevin Miller. Ellison was arrested during a follow-up interview at Deaconess Medical Center where he was being treated for smoke inhalation.

"We were looking for smoking materials," Miller said. "We ruled out any accidental cause."

Ellison is a Trojan alum from Petey's days. He then apparently got a cup of coffee with Petey in Seahawks before getting "released":

Ellison, who played at USC, was drafted in the sixth round by the San Diego Chargers in 2009 and started nine games at safety that season. He was released by the team following a May 2010 arrest in San Diego on a controlled-substance charge after police reportedly found 100 Vicodin tablets in his car without a prescription.

The charges were later dropped. Ellison joined the Seattle Seahawks but was released shortly before the 2010 season opener.

Smoke on Trogans.

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GO BRUINS.