Bumped. More calling out of Chianti's BS. - BN Eds.
DATELINE MORGAN CENTER -- Leave it to the mastermind, Dan Guerrero, to continue to bring fresh insights to the world of college athletics. From the same mind that created the landmark learning system, "What's Wrong With....?: UN-Critical Thinking Skills For The Modern Age,"(TM) comes a brand new idea in Athletic Department Management.
Introducing the future of college athletics: The P-SAC (Postage-Stamp Athletic Center).
It as a thought that came to Dan while he was interviewed by the Los Angeles Times.
"What's unique about UCLA is the assets we have, that are better than most, but one of the pitfalls is we're on a postage stamp," Guerrero said. "There is a premium on available land on campus."
But, he said, "We'll do everything we can to optimize our facilities.
The UCLA Athletic Department is pleased to announce that Spaulding Field is being renovated so that every single UCLA team will have have space to practice in the overly spacious grounds previously wasted on only football.
Details after the jump...
"We know our 80-yard practice field is the envy of the NCAA," said Guerrero, from aboard the SS Idiota off the coast of Italy. "Our renovation is going to advance the art even further. Everyone knows that football is often called 'a game of inches.' And the Red Zone is so much a part of football, that DirecTV named an entire channel after it. That's why our renovation of Spaulding Field includes a 20-yard long football practice facility. At least no one will complain about the large cushion our defense gives opposing receivers -- in practice, the defenders are right on top of them!"
Beyond the 20-yards devoted to football, the new P-SAC includes a batting cage for the baseball team, a miniature golf course for golf, and a 1-lane pool for the swimming team. "Turning is critical in swimming," noted Guerrero, "so our 30-foot long pool will allow our swimmers (1 at a time) to practice their turns four times more often than other Pac12 swim teams."
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