Two weeks ago after writing 'Adventures in Tailgating.' I received a lot of positive feedback not only in the comment threads but in personal emails. You know who you are! (And, thank you.) Among those emails, I began a short correspondence with Bruinut that was the genesis of this post.

What are the Miranda Rites? They are both rituals and rights that we as Bruins are endowed with and which we hold dear. Or, should hold dear. The truth is we are all too familiar with the overly polite Bruin fans that would rather sit on their hands than cheer. We have discussed ad nauseum the so called Bruins that sell their tickets and allow the Rose Bowl to fill up with the other team's fans. We have discussed what a terrible job Geoff Strand does leading (more like killing momentum) cheers. Hell, our own traitorous AD found it convenient to market Rose Bowl tickets to the Fresno State fans rather than fix his own crumbling football program. His idea of fixing the problem was replacing the worst fb coach in over 50 years (Dorrell) with a worse coach (Neuheisel).

We have stated repeatedly that 'winning fixes everything.' And, it will to a point. Winning will certainly get more butts in the seats. But, is that the same as getting loud, proud and vocal fans in the seats? When I first came to UCLA, I was shocked by how sedate the cheering was. My high school did a better job of creating the kind of noise that gave our teams a competitive advantage. Let me repeat that. MY HIGH SCHOOL DID A BETTER JOB.

Follow me after the break for your indoctrination.

• You DO NOT have the right to remain silent. You have the right to start an 8-clap. If you can't start an 8 clap, one will be started for you.

2011 UCLA 8-Clap Heard Around the World (via alumniucla)

Sends chills down your spine does it not? Imagine how our teams would feel? Or, their opponents. It gets better.

• You have the right to wear your team's colors. Jerseys are preferable.

via www.rabbitjerseys.com

• You have the right to wear UCLA Stripes on your football Jersey.
  

via cdn0.sbnation.com

• If you cannot afford a jersey, you will be directed to the nearest credit card offer booth where free T-shirts are included with your application.

via c-product.images.fansedge.com

• If you are capable of standing on your own two feet, you give up the right to ask the person in front of you to sit down.

via www.imageofsport.com

• If you are offended by loud noises, and screaming fanatics, you give up the right to sit in good seats. Kindly donate them to boisterous students.

via i.cdn.turner.com

• You are welcome to partake in our tailgate feast (The Rite). In return, you agree to be a vocal enthusiastic fan. You give up the right to sit there like a cardboard cutout.

Better to host Bears than Spoiled Children via www.uclareag.org

Get her a jersey, and we're cool! via www.glendalenewspress.com

• Anything you don't say or don't do can and will be held against you in a court of public opinion. We require you to be loud and proud Bruin fans.

Sometimes, we sit near the opposition. They will cheer. It's part of the game. But if they direct a cheer against us, It's your job respond. I remember at a basketball game a few years ago against Sanctioned Cheaters they inserted a cheer at the end of our UC! LA! cheer so it sounded like, UC!! LA!! (Ducks). We responded by inserting a cheer of our own to their, We Are!! SC!! cheer it sounded like, We Are!! Cheaters!!

Cheering is a serious business people. We cannot allow visiting teams to get comfortable, or their fans to 'win the war of words.' This is our town. Own it.

Cheering: too important to leave in this guy's hands. via images.onset.freedom.com

• Do you understand these rights and responsibilities as I have just explained them to you?