I consider BN to be a true community, and I look forward to logging on in the morning and at night – I avoid it at work or I’d never get anything done. After years on here, I feel like I know a number of you better than some of my co-workers, though as far as I know I’ve only met two fellow citizens of BN – one through the site a few years back, one in Sproul a few decades back. I know how lots of the regulars will react; I look forward to Fox71’s perspective and Ty’s intolerance for stupidity. I feel I have many friends here, and I’m in a situation where to get what’s best for my son, I need to turn to my friends and ask for some help. Here’s my personal story, if you’ll humor me…
My then-wife and I adopted our amazing son (and future Bruin, if I have anything to say about it!) when he was born just over five years ago. He’s owned at least one piece of UCLA clothing ever since, from his first Joe Bruin onesie to the current script UCLA hoodie you see. We separated when he was about 18 months, soon after we moved from Arizona to Kansas. Not too long after moving, we separated. At first we hoped it would be temporary; it wasn’t. It took us a while to actually get divorced, as we filed bankruptcy together, primarily due to bills piled up while pursuing infertility treatments then the costs of the adoption. (I don’t regret those expenses for a nanosecond.) We've shared both legal and physical custody ever since. My hope had been to continue that, but recently multiple developments have brought me to the conclusion that he needs to spend the majority of his time with the one parent that can provide a stable and peaceful environment for him.
My lawyer filed a motion with the court last week for me to receive primary physical custody; the hearing is in two weeks. Here's the problem: while I'm pleased with the skill and tactics of my lawyer, he charges $230 an hour, and must be paid in full each month. I’m not sure I can afford to complete the process on my own - while I make a somewhat decent salary, I’m paying 15% of it in combined alimony and child support (yes, even though I have him half of the time), and recently had to spend quite a bit of money establishing my own place after finally moving out from what became a lengthy ‘temporary’ stay with a parent. On top of this, we’ve just moved our son to a more expensive preschool, as the one he had been in wasn’t meeting his needs.
Any amount that you are gracious enough to donate will go directly toward legal expenses as I fight for my son. Whatever you might give is not tax-deductible…but it will make a major difference in the life of a wonderful future Bruin! If I were to be so lucky as to have funds remaining when the legal process is complete, I will use them to help replace my 20-year-old hand-me-down car I’ve had since the bankruptcy…and stash some away with the goal of taking my son up to Lincoln to see the Bruins in September!
Here is a link to my gofundme.com page. If you're not familiar with the site, it's somewhat like a Kickstarter for personal situations. Anything you’re able to give would be a huge help toward getting my son the stable environment he desperately needs. My personal pride makes it hard for me to reach out like this, but my concern as a father overrides everything. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and for any help you may be able to provide.
Update: Thanks for everyone that's helped out, even if by sending some karma my way. I'm truly touched by your support. My brother has created an easier-to-remember link:
Feel free to share it whenever and wherever you think you might find a receptive ear.
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It's hard to get this guy to hold still for anything! He's not all about fashion model poses; this was just the best recent pic I've got with him sporting the four letters. This kid is my world.