Trogan-to-English: Matt Barkley's NFL Debut

The Star-Ledger-USA TODAY Sports

Bumped. - BN Eds.

Matt Barkley once again asked Chip Kelly to start the next Philadelphia Eagles game. The NSA surveillance tape reveals the following discussion between the ex-Trogan and the ex-Duck.

MB: Coach, you gotta let me start!

CK: Um, how'd you do in the Dallas game?

MB: Good, real good.

CK: Real good? You only played a quarter, and you threw 4 interceptions!

MB: No, I didn't.

CK: Yes, you did. But on one there was a penalty on the Cowboys so it didn't make the official stats.

MB: See, I told you.

CK: The fact is, you couldn't officially throw 4 INTs, because you only played on 3 drives. Every single opportunity you had, you got caught on one.

MB: Consistency is the thing, that's what Coach Kiffin taught us.

CK: You were only in the game for two plays when you threw an interception.

MB: I can do better than that.

CK: Well, I would think so.

MB: Yeah, against UCLA I threw one on my very first play!

CK: Why does that not surprise me?

MB: But you gotta let me start!

CK: How'd you do in the Giants game?

MB: Even better than the Dallas one.

CK: Let's see. You played a bit more than one half of the game this time. You fumbled on the very first play.

MB: But I recovered it, so it doesn't count.

CK: Not in the stats, maybe, but it put us in an immediate hole. And you managed to fumble again, and lose the fumble, later in the drive, in the Red Zone no less.

MB: See, I drove us into scoring position.

CK: And you lost another fumble, on a fourth-down play. And then put up another INT.

MB: I make things happen!

CK: Yes, but for the wrong team.

MB: You gotta let me start!

CK: Foles just threw for 7 TDs in a single game, tying the NFL record. Why should you start ahead of him? You don't have a single point to your name as an Eagle.

MB: I am blonde, and from a wealthy family, and on a billboard in Westwood, and am a Trogan. I am entitled to start.

CK: I gotta tell the Front Office to never draft another Trogan...

<em>This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.</em>

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