More tonedeaf photos at Wooden Athletic Fund

Bumped. -BN Eds.

Call this catharsis. Lampooning in seventeen-syllable bites is challenging, but therapeutic, somehow. There is inversely proportionate healing in succinct ripping, I think. We've exorcised a few demons with Howku. We chased a few more with some JoeBruin15-inspired Chiantiku. Now, it's Chancellor Block's turn.

In the Blocku stanzas below, I have focused on just two issues--the Japanese Garden and the @#$#&%!! hotel. There are plenty more aspects to the Block administration that are ripe for critique. So, cleave away, Bruins. Carve in style.

Japanese Garden
Nourishes generations
Begets peaceful thoughts

Should we preserve it?
Enrich UCLA's soul?
Nah, let's unload it

Gardens cost money
They have to be maintained, and
They produce nothing

We hardly need it
Besides, no one will notice
What's a few more plants?

It's better to have
Cash in hand than in bushes
What good is a mum?

Athletics, I'm told
Could use some more real estate
We're behind the curve

To that, I say "Meh!"
This is a place for learning
Not sweaty jockstraps

Spaulding's just a name.
Eighty yards is quite enough.
Can't stretch postage stamps.

But, find room, somehow,
For upper-crust constructions,
That students can’t use.

What's that big thing there?
Oh, it's just a parking lot?
I never use that

It can't be crucial
None of my friends require it
Just a waste of space

The vacated land--
How should we best use the space?
What should we construct?

For academics?
No, we have buildings for that
For sports? Forget it

For use by students?
Poor R-O-I transaction
Students are a drain

Let's think about this
What do we need, most of all?
What's most important?

Need to think elite...
I know, a splendid hotel!
Yes, that's the ticket!

It shall be first-class
We will be envied by all
Other schools will drool

Detractors will fight
Will say we're being selfish
Let them all eat cake

Local inns will bitch,
Say we have an unfair edge
Well, that's their tough luck

We can't be waylaid
Our course must not be altered
Forth! All engines full!

Phew! Think I'll lie down
That was epic work, by me
Planning makes me tired

Note to self: Write speech,
For accepting Nobel Prize:
"Best Postage Stamp Use"

<em>This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.</em>

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