FanPost

Tape Found behind Morgan Center

Recorded Tape Found

I cannot vouch for the authenticity of this tape. Based on the conversation on the tape and that it was found in an empty doughnut box behind Morgan Center, it is safe to say it is Dan and Alford having a conversation. The tape is about 45 minutes long but I have transcribed only a portion of the conversation and show it below.

Knock on the door

Dan: Munch, munch, come in, munch, munch.

Hear door opening (appears to need WD40)

Alford: (seems out of breath like he ran all the way to Dan’s office). Dan, we need to talk. I just learned some very disturbing information.

Dan: Slow down Steve, what seems to be the problem?

Alford: I just learned that the guy who coaches that other sport that doesn’t use a real ball is getting his own building for his team.

Dan: I think the guy is named Jim or John or something like that but yes we are going to build a facility for the football team. I heard it helps with recruiting.

Alford; Well if he gets one I want one too.

Dan: Steve, it’s not that easy and you already have a brand new building for your basketball team.

Steve: It’s not really new; you took the old building and wrapped it in glass. That other guy is getting a building built from the ground up. I want one of those.

Dan: Why do you think you deserve this? I heard the football team is winning, generating fan interest and season ticket sales are going excellent.

Steve: I led our team to the sweet sixteen in the tournament and you know it wouldn’t have happened without my son playing point guard and my excellent coaching performance.

Dan: I heard attendance at Pauley was the worst in a long time and fan apathy seems very strong.

Steve: I don’t care about fans I just want my own building too. Also can you take down those silly banners inside Pauley? They are a distraction and setting unrealistic goals for my team.

A this point I threw up and stopped the tape.




This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.

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