Draft Daily Bruin Ad - Your Thoughts

by BruinCore on Nov 13, 2007 12:26 AM PST Comment 16 comments

Below is the draft ad copy we are going to use for the Daily Bruin ad. We are still waiting to hear from some contributors, but most contributors have agreed to have their donations used for the ad so we should have enough to meet the cost. Some have declined and we have refunded their donations. A couple of people have made donations since last weekend to add to the total. If you are one of the contributors that still has not responded please contact us. Here is a draft of the copy that will go to the DB Tuesday (it may be too long), fire away with your thoughts:

"UCLA is officially the worst-coached team in America."

Sports Illustrated's Stewart Mandel

Open letter to Dan Guerrero and Gene Block

It is time to end our football program's commitment to mediocrity. It is time to make a coaching change and hire a proven, successful, experienced head coach to lead our football team. For the last 2 decades UCLA football fans have experienced very few seasons that we can be proud of. We have hired 2 successive coaches with no head coaching experience and with little significant assistant coaching experience. The results are predictable and clear - we are a mediocre program run by mediocre coaches.

Although we saw record season ticket sales this year due to the Notre Dame game, if you retain Karl Dorrell for another year we will be sure to lose a significant amount of fans and the revenues they bring ... revenues that we all know our other athletic teams depend on to achieve the unparalleled success of 100 national championships.

We should look no further than our own experience at UCLA to find solutions. Our successes at UCLA in the 2 major college sports, football and basketball, show us that hiring inexperience most often fails us (Barnes, Farmer, Hazzard, Toledo, Lavin and Dorrell). Our experience also shows us that our greatest successes at UCLA in both sports have come when he hired proven, winning, experienced head coaches (Wooden, Sanders, Prothro, Rodgers, Brown, Harrick and Howland). Vermeil was the exception and Donahue had mixed results.

The question Bruin fans ask is: What commitment do Murphy Hall and Morgan Center have to excellence in football? It is the main topic of discussion in the papers, on the radio, and on the internet. We can assure you that if we continue in our current direction UCLA football will lose too many fans for a very long time that will not only hurt our football program it will also hurt all our athletic programs. We urge you to make the right choice for our football program and athletic department - make a Commitment to Excellence. Replace Karl Dorrell with a proven, winning, experienced head coach.

Paid for by UCLA students, alums, donors, boosters, fans, and DumpDorrell.com

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of BruinsNation's (BN) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of BN's editors.

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Well done

although I would agree it is a bit too long.

A little humble nitpicking:

I'm sure you will edit this, but there are some grammatical errors in the 3rd paragraph.

Also, "Committment to Excellence" is associated with the Oakland Raiders....clearly not an association that I would view as desirable (and it may even be copyrighted, I don't know).

Overall though very well done.

"If I don't do my job, I will get fired" -Karl Dorrell

by godblesstyus95 on Nov 13, 2007 3:11 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Ditto

Looks good, but I would definitely shorten it. Perhaps "Committment to Excellence" could be changed to "Committmenet to Success" or something like that.

Overall, with some tightening up, it looks good. I'm assuming the LAT and other news sources will be alerted to the ad for possible wider exposure. I don't know if DG reads the DB, but I bet he reads the sports pages of the LAT.

by Barnes2JJ on Nov 13, 2007 4:50 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I agree with Tyus

Pretty lengthy and needs some edits. "Committment to Excellence" is a great figure of speech, but it is a Raider saying. Isn't there anything similar that is purely UCLA? Is "Champions Made Here" ours and ours alone?

I don't think this is a time for the denizens of the BN to do a lot of fine-tuning. This needs to get published pronto.

My own suggested add-on: Something to suggest that CTS ought to be fired now, not later. e.g., "Gentlemen, the time to replace our current coach is now, not at the end of the season. There is no reason to think that this coach can lead our team to victories in the last two games. An interim coach will send a message to the team, the alumni and the fans that UCLA is determined to change the direction of the team. It will also send a message to coaching candidates that they should not commit elsewhere before looking at UCLA. The football version of Coach Howland is waiting to be contacted. Let's contact him before he gets hired by someone else."

See, adding that extra paragraph is just the cure for my very first criticism about the length. I'm having a CTS moment - forgive me.

by Fox 71 on Nov 13, 2007 4:59 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Just Another Spoon in the Soup

I think the tone -- particularly dwelling on the past, is not productive.

I don't think it productive to make the main theme an allegation tht we are committed to mediocrity --now or throughout our history. This will make some people defensive and we ought not do that.

The ad ought to focus on KD, his body of work, and this, his signature year.

I like a theme based on "Champions Made Here" -- something like "Champions Made Here? Then, why not in football?" And, some text that recognizes that each championship team has had a champion for a coach. Our football players deserve the same level of teaching and inspiration that we give all of our other athletes.

In an institution based on Excellence in the classroom, Excellence in the community, and Excellence on the athletic fields, it's time to have Excellence in the football program.

I'd run through a little bit of KD's record, the total flop this year -- emphasizing the losses to terrible teams.

And, I'd use Fox's pp about replacing KD now.

I'd prefer a more positive, focused approach.

Just stirring the soup with another spoon. I appreciate all you are doing.

sjh

by Class of 66 on Nov 13, 2007 6:30 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

One more stir

I think the ad should focus on getting rid of KD, now.

And, not lecture on making sure we do a proper search and the need to hire an experienced coach.

One thing at a time.

Once KD is gone, if we don't think DG is running a good search, we can speak up, again.

Although I disagree with Nestor on one point -- I fault DG for not firing KD after the nut bowl -- I sort of share his belief that DG will run a good search. If events begin to prove us wrong, we can run another ad.

sjh

by Class of 66 on Nov 13, 2007 6:34 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

May I suggest this? It's shorter.

Open letter to Dan Guerrero and Gene Block

It is time to end our football program's commitment to mediocrity. Over the last 2 decades, UCLA football fans have experienced very few seasons that we can be proud of.

The question Bruin fans ask is: What commitment do Murphy Hall and Morgan Center have to excellence in football? If we continue in our current direction, this will not only hurt our football program it will also hurt all our athletic programs. We urge you to make the right choice for our football program and athletic department.

Replace Karl Dorrell with a proven, winning, experienced head coach.

Paid for by UCLA students, alums, donors, boosters, fans, and DumpDorrell.com

"Because I'm tired of it. Year after year after year after year having to choose between the lesser of 'Who cares?'"

by Meriones on Nov 13, 2007 7:18 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Pretty good

Nice job. Have to get back to this in the early afternoon.

editor, DumpDorrell.com ... formerly posted as DumpDorrell

by BruinCore on Nov 13, 2007 7:30 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Further correction for typos/ grammar:

Open letter to Dan Guerrero and Gene Block

It is time to end the UCLA football program's commitment to mediocrity. Over the last 2 decades, we, as UCLA football fans, have experienced very few seasons to be proud of.

We urge you to make the right choice for our football program and athletic department. Replace Karl Dorrell with a proven, winning, experienced head coach.

Paid for by UCLA students, alums, donors, boosters, fans, and DumpDorrell.com

"Because I'm tired of it. Year after year after year after year having to choose between the lesser of 'Who cares?'"

by Meriones on Nov 13, 2007 11:17 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Another side note

We only hang national championship banners in Pauley but haven't even hung a conference banner at the Rose Bowl in the entire career of Mr. Dorrell.

by ucsbbruinfan on Nov 13, 2007 12:19 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Agree with 66

I think it's more productive to summarize and highlight Dorrell's underachievements than to hash up old names that current UCLA students likely have very little reference to.

Also think working in the First to 100 angle and pointing out the disheartening fact that the high standards of achievement in other sports does not mirror the current levels of achievement in our football program.

Final paragraph can then focus on our desire to bring in leadership that has proven themselves at other programs, citing examples (Howland) of how this is a proven formula for success. Dire warnings of lost revenues and achievement dropoffs in other sports, while entirely possible, can be viewed as a pessimistic, subjective analysis that somewhat undermines a very strong, fact-based argument.

"If I don't do my job, I will get fired" -Karl Dorrell

by godblesstyus95 on Nov 13, 2007 1:18 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Bingo!

That shortened version is MUCH better. I would go with that. Good job M.

by OutOThsWrld on Nov 13, 2007 10:55 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

i tried to edit it a bit more,

see if this might help:

Open letter to Dan Guerrero and Gene Block:

It is time to end the UCLA football program's commitment to mediocrity. Over the last 2 decades UCLA football fans have had very few seasons to be proud of.

We should look no further than our own experience at UCLA to find solutions. Our successes in football and basketball show us that hiring inexperienced coaches most often fails us, but hiring tested and proven leaders is our key to success.

Bruin fans everywhere are asking: How committed are you to succeeding in college football?

Continuing in our current direction will severely damage our football program for years to come. We urge you to make the right choice for our football program and athletic department: replace Karl Dorrell with a proven, winning, experienced head coach.

Paid for by UCLA students, alums, donors, boosters, fans, and DumpDorrell.com

by radiorahim on Nov 14, 2007 3:40 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

even better

I think we have to add a sentence in there about Dorrell's futility, given that Simers, Keisser, and Dohn especially are almost campaigning on behalf of Dorrell. We need to provide the good reasons.

editor, DumpDorrell.com ... formerly posted as DumpDorrell

by BruinCore on Nov 14, 2007 8:10 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Ending a sentence with a preposition.

"Over the last 2 decades UCLA football fans have had very few seasons to be proud of."

I would re-write this somehow so the last word is not a preposition. I recognize that some writers aren't put off by that, of course. Once when a woman wrote to Churchill and chided him for ending a sentence with a preposition, he wrote back and said "Henceforth, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I shall not put."

by Fox 71 on Nov 14, 2007 4:19 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Nice one

Actually, prepositions at the end of a sentence do bug me, but I admit, in normal speech, I probably am guilty of doing it myself. In writing, I usually try to avoid it.

Do you think this guy Churchill you mentioned could help write our ad? Is he, like, some opera dude?

by Barnes2JJ on Nov 14, 2007 5:12 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

You're thinking of Luciano Churchill.

I think the other Churchill dude was religious. He was like, a Minister so I guess he did like weddings and stuff like that.

But this law dude, Justice Sills, likes to quote him. Justice Sills writes some very funny stuff. Do a search using "Sills" and "Churchill" and you'll get something. And find the case in which the City of Santa Ana or Orange tried to confiscate this guy's private parking place right in the middle of where the city wanted things yuppified. If you search for "latte" I think you'll find it.

by Fox 71 on Nov 14, 2007 7:20 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs