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Pin Ups For Our Bulletin Board

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We will throw this up here now in case it's not already on our team bulletin board:

Dear UCLA,

Hello. How are you? Enjoyed your stay so far? Can I get you anything? Extra pillow? Snack? A chance in hell? Return ticket home?

I like you, UCLA. You've got heart. You've got toughness. You're in the Final Four again. Major props to you. You've also got no shot to beat Florida. None, zippo. Take your tourist photos of Atlanta as quickly as possible. Grab some postcards. Park the bus close to the arena so you can catch that 9 p.m. charter on Saturday night. I've got a bootleg of 300 for you to watch on the plane. Twenty bucks and it's yours.

You are a nice story. You did well in a rugged Pac-10. You have a smart coach. You're from L.A. Some people say Los Angeles is New Jersey with movie stars. Not me. Some of my favorite rappers are from L.A.

You are a lovely team, but if you beat Florida, it would be one of the greatest Final Four upsets of all time.

Surpassing the Gators with a power forward masquerading as a center in Lorenzo Mata, while he battles a tandem of Joakim Noah and Al Horford, the Elbow Syndicate, would be stunning. It is also about as possible as me becoming the next ESPN ombudsman.

Noah is 6-feet-11 and Horford is 6-10. Horford is so big he looks like he does curls with small condos. Noah is a poor man's Dennis Rodman. Mata is a good player, takes great pics poolside with the ladies, but he will be seriously outmatched.

So let's see: Big men vs. shrimp. Shrimp vs. big men. Shrimp. Big men. Big men. Shrimp.

Keep the engines on that UCLA jet nice and warm.
That was from a "national columnist" on We are also hearing lot of the same crap from the local outlets.

This stuff doesn't upset me any more. Come to think of it this will only help the psyche of our Ben Ball warriors and rest of the Bruins Nation.

Game on haters.