clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Fox 71's Day Off

Nothing about P D***y here.

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.


We don't live in a perfect world. Here in the Bizarro Universe, we have celebrities with no discernable talent who are celebrities simply because they're celebrities. When Al Gore and I invented the internet back on our home planet, it was used for the greater good of all. We didn't imagine that in the Bizarro Universe, it would lead to the creation of "social media" which allows narcissists everywhere to indulge their belief that people really want to know what they're doing every minute of every day. Only in the Bizarro Universe would there be such an apparent insatiable appetite to read about what the father of a marginally talented football player did.

Well folks, today I'm taking the day off. If you think this is going to be more ranting about the guy currently in charge of the basketball team, or those above him in his chain of command, or about "hip hop moguls," then you're incorrect. Good bye to the Bizarro Universe and all its denizens (with thanks to TBS). This will be the BN equivalent of a cute kitty video (and of course there is a cute kitty video, thanks to mugumogu.)

Let's look at the news from the Daily Bruin of 50 years ago. In the May 7, 1965 edition, a grad student in Education was upset because she thought a "state school, supported by the peoples' taxes" was involved in "competitive bidding" with "more than a hundred colleges" to get a particularly skilled basketball player from New York City. I have never heard of this grad student (and in fairness, she has surely never heard of me.) I googled her and found nothing (and again in fairness, I found the same number of hits for me.) I have heard of this kid from New York, who I understand has just released a new mystery novel.

The May 7, 1965 edition of the DB had a little blurb about the football team. The DB reported that Coach Prothro had made some decisions. The first three players named in the article were Gary Beban, who the coach had named as the starting QB, Dick Witcher, who was moving to wingback, and Byron Nelson, who was moving from defensive back to tight end. It just so happens that we are coming up on the 50th anniversary of my personal favorite just$c* game. In that game, we trailed 16-6 with four minutes to go. Then Beban passed to Dick Witcher for a TD to make it 16-12, followed by a 2-point conversion pass to Byron Nelson. (A couple of minutes later, Beban hit Kurt Altenberg for the game winner.) What a nice job by the anonymous DB writer to pick those three guys for the lead in his article. For those of you who don't know Gary Beban, here he is talking about his big moment at UCLA, courtesy of UCLA.

Now, are there any more reasons to ask why I wanted to leave the Bizarro Universe and get back home?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?  (Disclaimer:  I thought "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" was a horrible movie about a horrible kid who was neither cute nor funny. Well, there it is.)