Steve Alford reportedly new UCLA head coach

Billy Donovan? Nope. Rick Pitino? Nope. Shaka Smart? Nope. Brad Stevens? Nope.

Steve Alford!

This dandy of a coaching search has left UCLA with Alford as the new head basketball coach, according to CBS Sports. If the report is correct, UCLA's new head coach will be a man who has been to the Sweet 16 once. In 1999. At Southwest Missouri St.

Alford left Southwest Missouri St. after that run to the Sweet 16 for Iowa, where he was a great young coach who everyone predicted greatness for. After all, who doesn't love a guy who finishing in the top three of his conference once in eight years and had a .477 winning percentage in the Big 10.

With rumors about him being on the hot seat, Alford left Iowa for New Mexico, where he fared better. In six years there, he went to the NCAA Tournament four times. He finished first or tied for first in the Mountain West four times and won the tournament title in each of the last two years. He did make the Lobos a tournament regular so he did get that program trending up. Hell, there's no doubt he had that program in a better place than Ben Howland had UCLA in.

Whoever Alford's agent is, he's a wizard. Somehow, some way, he keeps getting his man new jobs with more money despite Alford giving him nothing to sell. This time it is UCLA and Dan Guerreo giving it to him.

But Donovan, Pitino, Smart and Stevens weren't great players like Alford. So there. Or something.

I don't even know anymore.